Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Adventures in professionalism

The kids have the whole week off for Thanksgiving and because I'm the lucky one with the flexible job that means I get to take them with me to work Monday and Tuesday. This is when I get to cash in all the times other people bring their dogs to work by bringing a painfully loud pack of my own puppies. They take over the study lounge at the end of the hall, watch terrible TV, make literal reams of paper airplanes (yesterday I thought I would be the cool mom and let them release them from the third floor railing into the atrium; I was rewarded for this kindness by Mary having the loudest screaming tantrum in her LIFE and refusing to get out of the elevator. When I tried to pick her up and run away she did that sea cucumber thing and slunk to the floor. I finally fireman carried her back to my office, still screaming, as one of my department chairs watched with open amusement), go to the bathroom fourteen times a minute (the bathrooms on the first floor only have one stall and when James, who is on a *treatment*, we will say, had to GO, he ran in to find the only stall occupied (by another colleague), he shouted "Oh NO!!!!" before slamming the door and running back into the hallway), and bicker, constantly.

 (One more elevator anecdote I somehow forgot about: the boys ran out onto the second floor while Mary was screaming and then tried to get back in, but the doors closed automatically. From inside the elevator I could hear them pounding their fists on the door and screaming MARY!!!! MARY!!!)

We capped that relaxing experience with an attempt to find Mary a holiday dress at two different stores and a trip to pick up our curbside groceries and by the time we got home everyone was in trouble and I had made evening plans that required me to leave about eight seconds after Ryan arrived home.

We are back at school today because hope springs eternal and also all our babysitters are either home for the break or spending their time preparing thanksgiving for us. Both classes have an exam today, so the kids are camped out in an adjacent study lounge watching a movie while the husband of one of my students, a tall guy with a big beard, sits nearby and looks imposingly at them every few minutes.  I have also warned them that we will go home and eat peanut butter and jelly instead of visiting the dining hall, the very Shangri La of their existance, if they screw around.

So I am hopeful today will go better.

And if not, I have movie plans with a friend at 6:40.


Anonymous said...

Oh I just love this. Somehow when I read about your kids acting like animals it is so much more charming and amusing than when my kids act the same way at my office. Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

It's "existence." Sorry, I couldn't resist. :P Happy Thanksgiving!