Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Screaming kids, screaming smoke detectors

So, let's see, I had the death cough for nearly three weeks, canceled a doctor's appointment at the two week mark so I could go to a friend's wine tasting instead, hacked my way through another week, made another doctor's appointment Sunday morning after waking up re-enacting Nicole Kidman's death from consumption at the end of Moulin Rouge, which I almost canceled so the kids could have snowcones after lunch on Sunday, then decided to keep after all due to Ryan's urging, and was diagnosed with BRONCHITIS at that doctor's appointment. So that was weirdly satisfying. I pranced out to the van, got in, held my papers in front of Ryan like "SEE? SICK!!"

Earlier in this ordeal I went with some friends to a Korean Karaoke place. I thought I would sound like Phoebe singing sexy Smelly Cat, but instead I sounded more like a crazy, lifelong smoking aunt who had too many cocktails on Thanksgiving.

Teaching was also neat, especially my seventy-five minute climate lecture class, which I bravely powered through even though I sounded disgusting and probably a little scary.

I started my Zpack on Sunday afternoon and woke up Monday morning feeling like I might survive until the end of the week for the first time in DAYS. Refreshing!

Monday afternoons I pick the kids up at school and we go to a playground for half an hour or so on the way to piano dropoff. This week I was pushing Mary on the swing when a scuffle broke out on the playscape. There was screaming and Wes was doubled over shrieking "HE KICKED ME IN THE N***S!" Then he straightened and wheeled around so sharply that James screamed with excitement and ran down the slide just in time to avoid getting shoved from behind by Wes. Wes slid down the slide and ran to James and pushed him to the ground. This all transpired in a period of about ten seconds and all I could do was stand there completely dumbfounded.

I finally gathered myself enough to make them each sit on a bench until it was time to leave, but that didn't stop them from screaming insults at each other. After the fourth or fifth "IDOIOT!!" and "NUTS!!" I decided it was time to cut our losses. We turned to walk back to the car and that's when I saw a roomful of GIRL SCOUTS at the adjacent community building, *STARING* at us out the window, gape mouthed. As we passed by the door, which was propped open to let in the nice weather, a mom hurriedly ran to close it and said "Oh, no no no! Please don't worry!" graciously when I made Wes apologize for his appalling language. I was SUPER EXCITED to drop off the two big kids at piano. I went home and turned on the TV then retired to the kitchen with my book because DAMN.

One of my classes has its last meeting before the final tomorrow afternoon. I have mixed feelings about this because I really love teaching climate, but DANG is it a lot of work, with forty-two students, a weekly writing assignment, two weekly labs, and a weekly reading quiz on top of lectures. I plan to use my extra time next week to slap together a paper with my research student from this summer. And also grade 42 final exams and essays. Sob.

Finally, this morning at four our smoke detector started going off. I shoved Ryan out of bed to go deal with it because I am nothing if not alert and safety conscious. I had no idea what he was doing to fix it, but later, Charley retold the story to my mom "The smoke alarm kept going off and Papa would come and wave his hands at it until it went off then go back to bed". It would beep multiple times in a row, then stop for juuuuust long enough to drop back to sleep then start up again. So restful. After the fourth time or so, we heard Mary call out from her room in a bored voice "I don't like that noise!"

I finally gave up trying to sleep at six and was in Mary's room helping her get dressed when it started going off like crazy. I heard Charley mutter from his room across the hall "AWW COME ON!!!!!" Wes told us "I heard the smoke alarm and I didn't know if I should go outside, so I went under my bed" (!!) (makes mental note to look under Wes's bed in the event of a real emergency.

Ryan finally figured out that it was malfunctioning because it had MOTH COCOONS ALL OVER IT.

Yes. Those freaking stupid moths that keep taking over my pantry and nesting in the kids' cereal are now capable of WAKING ME UP AT FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. I hate those stupid bugs. Bright side? Kids all fell asleep QUICKFAST tonight.

1 comment:

Candy said...

Wow, the fight scene reminded me of a 007 movie, I wonder, are there parcour lessons for kids? Great descriptions during the morning of the smoke detector...Moths, ugh!