Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Every day we're summering

Summer, actual summer, with the endless unstructured time and the hundred degree temperatures and the wasps, has been a bit intense. The first two days were freaking magical, with swimming! And projects! And the candy store!

And we'll get back to that after I tell you about yesterday, when I had to leave the grocery store with the horrified stares of a hundred old ladies boring into the back of my head after Charley and Wes had an EPIC, Maury Povich-style fight in front of the dairy refrigerator.

It all started when Wes got pissed because Mary wouldn't share her last two jellybeans with him. Important information is that one of those jellybeans I had just rescued from underneath the tire of a Jeep that was parked beside us because I couldn't deal with the bitching anymore. Also relevant is the fact that Wes had a LITERAL QUARTER POUND JAWBREAKER that he'd bought at the candy store. AT THE CANDY STORE WHERE FUN-MOM TOOK HIM.

So because Wes was disappointed that he couldn't eat a single parking lot jelly bean, he decided he could no longer walk. I called his bluff and eventually he caught back up to us, but crawled into the dog food shelf of the cart while I was distracted. I let him stay down there until he started deliberately sticking his foot out and making the cart jerk to a halt, flinging Mary against the side of the cart every time. So I made him get out and walk. He parked himself in poultry and refused to walk for several minutes before catching up to us at a run and diving Mission Impossible-style back under the cart. I dragged him out. He dove back in. I tried to move the cart. He jammed his foot down. I pulled him out. Charley grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to pull him away. This (surprise!) led to a riotous shoving fight and when I tried to push the cart away from them, Charley pushed Wes in front of the cart and I accidentally ran over his foot.

Mary banged her head hard on the side of the cart and started screaming. Wes started hopping around screaming about his foot. Time stood still. People were LITERALLY STARING at the spectacle with mouths agape.

I blurted out "JESUS CHRIST" as I scooped Mary and my purse and my shopping list out of my cart, just to up the klassy quotient a few more notches. Then I turned on my heel and left the entire cart filled with a week's groceries just sitting there in the middle of the floor.

Our exit was not quite as dramatic as I'd hoped because we had to wait for Wes to hop pitifully to the front of the store.

There was some classy parking lot yelling after that and then we went home for a disappointing lunch and some awkward silence.

Later that afternoon was deee-lightful because James and Mary took a nap and Charley and Wes are old enough to know when they've gone waaaaay too far. They even worked together to hang a birdhouse in a tree.

This morning we tried again and everyone was much more cooperative. Until we got to checkout. Oy.

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So. Let's see. What else have we been up to? Possibly our most successful day was when we went to a cute little garden cooking class in the town where I teach. I dropped off the boys and Mary and I went to have cupcakes with a friend. The class turned out to be really fun and of course cupcakes are delicious. After that we had a hamburger lunch and then spent three hours swimming in a river. I mean. It was pretty much perfect.

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When we got home, James and Mary fell asleep, Wes turned on a movie, I started working on my quilt, and Charley whipped up a batch of kolasczki.

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We kept trying to have fun the rest of the week too, with mixed results.

3D IMAX movie about the International Space Station? Good.

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Candy store? Good. Kind of fighty, but fine.

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Hanging around downtown eating candy and watching people play Pokemon? Nice.

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Chinese food with friends? Food was good. Having sushi with Charley was fun. But Mary KICKED A BOWL OF SOUP OFF THE TABLE.

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Trader Joes was weirdly fun.

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And the cookie White House kit was hysterical.

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Reading library books and topless splash pad on the square time was lovely.

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Somehow this happened in our back yard.

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I finished my quilt (after some sweary drama with a broken needle). I am super excited about this. Ryan hung it up over our stairs and it makes me really happy to see it when I walk downstairs.

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Saturday morning Ryan sensed astutely that I was teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown (this was just hours after the soup-kicking incident) and suggested I get out alone for a few hours. I went to a yoga class, had lunch at a nice taco place, got a giant brownie, went to a hipster knitting store where they helped me start a new project, then went to our fancy grocery store to hang out on the deck and knit and ran into my friend Cindy. We hung out for an hour while her kids were on the playground. It was the PERFECT DAY. Then I went home and Ryan had planned a picnic by the river, which was also very nice.

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Sunday afternoon we had a family nap and then went downtown to see the free summer musical, Shrek. It was THE BEST. It was the latest we have ever kept the kids out and I totally paid for it on Monday, but it was SO MUCH FUN. First, the play exceeded my wildest expectations. It was fantastic and hilarious. Second, the kids, even Mary, were TRANSFIXED. Mary loved Princess Fiona and the dragon, who was played by a woman with beautiful magenta wings. Charley was on his feet DANCING along with the last song. Charley. Was. Dancing. Wes got Shrek's autograph. I loved every minute of it. I gushed the whole way home. Ryan had fun too but I'm not sure he was as infatuated as I was considering he had to be at work nine hours after we got in the car to come home. I wonder if we can go again.

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Also after the musical I had a scary dream that ISIS blew up a hotel room I was staying in because they didn't like me teaching climate. Couldn't really sleep after that. I should stop reading NPR before bed. Between the kids' late night and my sleepless one I guess the Showdown in the Milk Aisle was inevitable but it was still worth it.

Today was lovely and calm and featured a two hour midday break with Y childcare and lunch with a friend. I took them to the pool after naps and felt all the warm fuzzies watching them play.

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Three weeks left and then I will probably miss them like crazy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Summer at home with kids is so full of ups and downs like that! Love them so, but why must they be so contrary and fighty some days?