Friday, December 4, 2015

This is not in the grateful holiday spirit, not at all

A few days ago the Pandora app on my phone stopped working. Instead of filling my workout with delightful delightful inappropriate rap and hip hop music, it produced a series of empty spaces, skips, beeps, and partial songs that made me feel like my head was going to launch off of my body like a roman candle. No amount of gentle whacking or shaking (gentle because Ryan just bought me this phone after Mary and I destroyed my old one) would fix it. Neither did threatening it with profanity under my breath.

I gave up on my workout in disgust after fifteen minutes. In addition to my spine not going into lockdown, Pandora is the only reason I have continued my Olympic racewalking regimen. I didn't know how much I looked forward to disappearing into my headphones for thirty minutes each day until it was rudely taken away from me. To add insult to injury, when I got off the elliptical, in a giant huff, and reached for my coat, something weird happened and I banged my hip so hard on the neighboring elliptical that I saw stars and now have a deep bruise that kills every time my purse bumps it. Happy holidays.

Naturally after all of this frustration the only thing to do was go directly to Sonic for a breakfast taco and a huge cup of tea.

Yesterday, I tried again. This time I went for a walk in my neighborhood. Pandora worked fine all morning while I folded laundry but as soon as I struck out on foot it started behaving stupidly again. This time I determined not to let it make me angry, but staying calm and rational in the face of malfunctioning electronics has never been my strong suit. This time it took a cake pop from Starbucks before I could face the rest of my day. OK two cake pops from Starbucks.

Last night Ryan messed around with it and tried to fix it and it seemed to be fixed this morning, UNTIL I GOT TO THE Y and then it started DOING THE SAME STUPID THING. I reinstalled it multiple times and did everything the Android user forum suggested to fix THIS EXACT PROBLEM that apparently was also happening IN 2011!!! No luck. So, I finally just uninstalled it and resigned to do my workout listening to the audio from one of the fourteen TVs playing Fox News at the Y. At least it would help keep my heartrate up.

And I planned to come home and write an angry blog post about how Pandora is annoying and useless (but also that I really miss my Van Morrison Station and Central Market Holiday Radio and whyyyyyyyy????) and that I was now going to gain thirty pounds because of my inability to work out and propensity for stress eating.

But then I remembered that my friend Peter had recommended Spotify a while back. I'd never tried it because PANDORA WAS WORKING JUST FINE and I had three years of thumbs up invested in my Van Morrison station that I was not about to leave behind.

So I downloaded the Spotify app, typed "workout" into the search function, and found A DELIGHTFUL ARRAY OF OPTIONS.

And I spent a gleeful thirty minutes on the elliptical. OK twenty-five minutes. And I did not injure myself this time. PROGRESS.

I am now home thinking really hard about straightening up before the kids get out of school while I listen to "Choral Christmas". It's not exactly the same, but it also probably won't give me type II diabetes like continuing to try and make Pandora happen will. So I call it a win. Sort of anticlimactic if you ask me.


Chiconky said...

I HATE when my phone won't cooperate at the gym! It's the worst. Now I have several backups, so I've got podcast subscriptions, Pandora, Spotify, and Songza. Check out Songza, it's my favorite.

Sarah said...

PODCASTS! You need some emergency podcasts!