Friday, November 13, 2015

Two stories which turn out to be related

1: There has been this disgusting pint glass full of brown water and slime on my dining room window sill for a couple of weeks. We live with a budding field biologist, so this is not unusual and when I passed by it I thought fond things about Charley and thought I should take a picture of the glass as a belated and snarky thank-you-note to whoever gave us that set of glasses as a wedding present. I did not want to throw it away until Charley was ready because there's always a chance that I would be killing some beloved living thing or interrupting an important experiment. But the other day, I was relieved to find Ryan washing out the glass in the sink because, please, no one, no matter how crunchy, wants a fermenting vat of mud and leaves four feet from where they eat.

2: EVERY SINGLE NIGHT FOR TWO WEEKS when I sit on my couch doing after bedtime things like eating cookies, watching TV, and when I'm feeling really crazy, cross stitch, I have been getting MULTIPLE MOSQUITO BITES. I have also been loudly complaining to Ryan about how it's NOVEMBER AND I AM STILL GETTING MOSQUITO BITES. There has also been a significant amount of fretting about vector borne disease and climate change and how the whole family is going to die from West Nile because of these freaking fracking mosquitoes that REFUSE TO DIE because it continues to be eighty degrees out IN NOVEMBER. It's always helpful when your neuroses can be supported by peer reviewed literature.

This morning I walked into the kitchen to find Charley frozen in place like an Irish Setter eyeing a bunny. As I approached, he suddenly reached out and grabbed at the air.

"GOT IT!!" he exclaimed happily.

"What?" I wondered aloud as I looked around, concerned that hallucination might be side effect from the new dose of medication he recently started taking.

"THE MOSQUITO!!" he told me with excitement. "I've been *RAISING LARVA IN THE DINING ROOM*!"

Deep breaths.

"Are you talking about... the glass full of mud and leaves?" I asked carefully.


He was so proud. I was caught between pride and horror.

"Oh, shoot, sweetheart, Papa didn't realize that was important and he cleaned it out. I'm so sorry."

(Not sorry, not sorry at all)

"Oh, OK. No problem!" he said, then skipped out the door for school.

I also confirmed that there was just ONE mosquito ranch in the house because that is not the good kind of surprise.

I...just...WOW. We've been operating a mosquito farm for two weeks. Meanwhile the city has been SPRAYING THE AIR TO PROTECT TRICK OR TREATERS FROM WEST NILE. Things it doesn't occur to you to teach your kids: Do not cultivate disease vector pests inside the house. Please and thank you. And let's hope the people over at Vector Control don't read blogs.


Erin said...

THIS. IS. HILARIOUS. Also itchy.

I just love the way you parent.

Chiconky said...