Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Dealing with the public

Couple of things that happened to me this weekend, both equally stupid.

On Friday I got my oil changed. I was so proud of myself for taking care of this perfectly ordinary adulthood chore that I thought I should stop for a cookie and an iced tea at a restaurant I like on the way to the kids' school for pickup. I found the restaurant and pulled my car into a space close to the door. I had just gotten out my phone to look at a missed text when the guy in the car next to me came out of a store and walked to his car.

Apparently I had parked about six inches closer to him than would have been ideal in Perfect Man's perfect world, because he began opening and closing his door angrily and screaming "REALLY?!  REALLY?!" into my passenger side window (WHICH WAS CLOSED).

This kept up for a minute or more during which I ignored him.  I have LOTS OF EXPERIENCE ignoring people who are behaving irrationally.  It's pretty much my job both at home and at work.  Also, you don't engage crazy people in a concealed-carry state.  Finally, I put my phone back into my purse, got out of my car (still ignoring), and walked into the restaurant.

When I got back out, Mr. Angrypants was GONE, which tells me that although my parking job was not ideal in his mind, HE WAS STILL ABLE TO GET INTO HIS CAR (the NORMAL WAY, because I watched from behind the tinted window of the restaurant).  AND, he was able to get his car out of the parking spot with no trouble.  I know this because my cookie and drink purchase took all of forty-five seconds.  This tells me that DUDE NEEDS TO GET SOME REAL PROBLEMS.  I do hope he was proud of himself for screaming at a woman he has never met over a minor inconvenience.

The other crazy thing that happened to me was on Saturday.  We were all at my favorite fancy grocery store with the playground, enjoying the nice afternoon and some sangria, when I excused myself to visit the ladies' room.  The one close to the playground was closed for cleaning, so I walked across the store to the other side where there is a second bathroom.  When I got in, both stalls were in use.  I know this because I *gently* tried the handle on the door of the one stall I thought might be open and it did not move.  So, like a normal person I stood back and waited for a stall to open up.

When one did, I went inside, LATCHED THE DOOR, and sat down on the potty.

IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT, another woman came into the bathroom and YANKED THE DOOR TO MY STALL OPEN.

When she saw me sitting there, she made a horrified face and then attempted to close the door.  Because the door swings both in and out of the stall, when she tried to close it it swung all the way into the stall.  She lost her grip on it and it just kept going.

And I was still sitting on the toilet frozen with shock.

The door stopped when it hit the wall and stayed there, WIDE OPEN.

The lady who had started this whole mess then became flustered and FLED WITHOUT A WORD.

Leaving me sitting on the crapper with my pants down and the door STILL OPEN.

I finished quickly.  Verrrrrry quickly.  Put my pants back on (DOOR STILL OPEN), washed my hands, and left.

You guys.  I don't know what the right way to handle that situation would have been.  But it was not LEAVE THE DOOR WIDE OPEN AND LEAVE.

What.  In the heck.

There is small consolation in the fact that after delivering four babies privacy isn't really a thing in my life anymore and therefore, WHATEVER, and also she probably felt like an idiot for the rest of the day and forgot at least four items on her grocery list.

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