Wes came into our bedroom at 2:30 this morning and told me he didn't feel well. I felt him (no fever) and asked him if he was going to throw up (no) and then sent him back to bed because TWO THIRTY IN THE MORNING. He told me again that he didn't feel well in the morning when we all got up for the day and I let him eat breakfast in his pajamas instead of his uniform, but when I got out of the shower he was wearing his uniform and shoes and I thought all was well.
The rest of the morning was a little confusing because Mary was SCREAMING to be let out of her high chair, but when I attempted to unbuckle her she just screamed louder. James was screaming because he could only find one of the boots he wanted to wear and I told him he needed to either find the second boot or wear sneakers because OMG GET IN THE CAR. Charley was following me around defending his dissertation on the reproductive habits of the North American toad. And Ryan was in the shower.
Wes continued to whine and complain about going to school but still, no fever, no throwing up. Then he told me he was having a substitute today and he was really nervous. BINGO. So I held him on the couch and told him I wanted him to just try and that if he was still feeling bad the nurse could call me and I would come get him. He did NOT like this idea, so then I had THREE KIDS SCREAMING.
I left Wes on the couch and wrenched James into the car, sans shoes. I threw the sneakers in the passenger seat and resolved to let his teacher handle it.
After gleefully running around the front yard for several minutes, acting perfectly normal, Wes defiantly buckled himself into the van with James meaning "I'm not getting in the car that's going to my school because I am going to stay home no matter what you say". Then I got a screamy Mary out of her seat and buckled her into the car.
Ryan came down out and bodily removed Wes from the van through the rear hatch, kicking and screaming, then buckled him into his car to go to school.
SO MUCH SCREAMING YOU GUYS.
Charley went to his happy place, which is probably a world where he is not related to all these insane people.
We finally left only to have to sit in the car around the corner while I waited for James to buckle his seatbelt (which he had unbuckled while having a massive tantrum about the shoes that involved throwing every loose object out of the van and onto the lawn.
Right before I dropped James and Mary off Ryan called to say Wes was refusing to go in the building.
I relented and asked Ryan to bring Wes to me at the preschool so I could take him home. This worked out well because in all the chaos Charley had put his lunch in the van instead of Ryan's car so Ryan needed to take his lunch (French toast with syrup, OMG of all the things I don't want to hand to the office staff to pass along to my kid. Though yesterday I dropped James and Mary off with the food police COVERED IN DONUT GLAZE, WINNING) to school for him. Also TEN POINTS FOR DECIDING ON THE PRESCHOOL THREE BLOCKS FROM THE BIG KID SCHOOL.
While I waited I exchanged texts with a friend about how I couldn't attend the fun 2nd grade event that I didn't even know was happening because of some weird email snafu because I had a "sick" kid. 2015: The Year of Missing All the Things. (Also I searched my email when I got home and for some reason I just DID NOT GET THE EMAIL.)
Neither of us believed he was really sick. When we got home I explained in my less than warm and friendly voice that he had to read a book before he could watch any TV and explained that even if he was "feeling better" after school that he would have to stay inside until tomorrow. No bikes or scooters or trampoline I warned. When he calmly agreed I softened. I wrapped him up in a quilt and handed him a book then went to the kitchen table to answer some work emails and look at my capstone student's paper and when I looked up this is what I saw.
Oops. Sorry buddy.