Friday, February 27, 2015

NSFIYAES*

*Not Safe For If You Are Eating Something

Yesterday as I mentioned it was freezing outside.  When Ryan came down from putting the big kids to bed I told him that I should go to the Y to do my olympic race walking but that what I really wanted was to open my new Tempranillo and read Harry Potter in my pajamas.  Ryan told me that if I went to the Y and walked that when I got home I could take a shower and put on my pajamas and then he and I could have that Tempranillo together and watch John Oliver.  This seemed like a reasonably good deal and also I didn't want to deal with the Stiff Back of Doom when I woke up in the morning, which is what happens if I skip olympic race walking, so I went to the Y.

Side note, I bought some earphones and found a station on Pandora called "Power Workout".  Life. Changed.  I do love the Van Morrison Radio station I listen to all day, but a bunch seventies pot smoking music does little to motivate me through minutes 21-45 of olympic power walking.  Dirty, NSFW rap and hip hop is JUST THE THING.

When I got home I took a long, very hot shower that felt amazing and when I got out I reached for the brand new, fresh from the laundry, towel I had laid out for myself as a little treat.  When I dried off my face I thought I smelled something unusual.  I continued drying off thinking "I don't like that smell but I can't put my finger on what it is."

Finally, after I had dried off my face and arms I had a horrible realization.  Puke.  The towel smelled like puke.

I gave it a slightly more direct sniff for confirmation.  TOTALLY PUKE.

Somehow, the towel I used to clean up the downstairs bathroom after Charley somehow managed to get puke everywhere EXCEPT the toilet went through the washer and dryer WHILE RETAINING THAT HORRIBLE SMELL.  So, as you do in these situations, I flung it to the other side of the bathroom in disgust, turned the shower back on, and scrubbed my entire upper body and face with Ryan's heavily scented Dove soap because my unscented hippie olive oil soap WAS NOT GOING TO DO THE JOB.

Shudder.


Lesson learned: use paper towels next time (paper towels would have been LAUGHABLY inadequate, however).


Also: These pictures are kind of embarrassing but you've been through four pregnancies with me so what the heck.

As part of my recovery from my day of gardening, I now have to wear this piece of pink tape on my shoulder for the next four days. You can't tell from the picture but it goes down to the middle of my back on the other side. I like to style it with apathy and accessorize with whatever, because it is freaking magical. I have not wanted to die from shoulder pain ONCE in the car since the physical therapist taped me up. And that is saying something.



Also, I have been forbidden to empty the dishwasher by my physical therapist, Ryan, and my dad. Things are getting out of hand.



Not that you can get more out of hand than a puke-smelling towel, but seriously, the Super Fund people will be calling any minute now.

2 comments:

Doc said...

This was a fun read. I saw your Kinesio tape, and I wanted to let you know that you should ask your PT to teach you how to tape it up and then buy some through amazon. We have 30 meters of the precut stuff and it's amazing for sore muscles, weird aches, and other complaints. Also, rock the pink tape! I often have my entire knee tape up. In shorts. At the gym. Hot!

Chiconky said...

I am a firm believer that KT tape will change your life.