Saturday, January 3, 2015

News from the desert (not the dessert, sadly)

Let's see, where were we?

I will tell you about our great Christmas later, but right now I am in Phoenix ALONE for a conference.  THE conference that has been stressing me out like nobody's business for the last couple of months.  And no the project is not completely done, but it is close enough and I have until Wednesday afternoon before I have to present SO STOP BUGGING ME ABOUT IT.  Kidding.

The reason it is not more done than it is is because our entire family has been felled by what I like to call The Plague.  It started with me.  I was struck down while we were out of town visiting Ryan's family.  What started out as "bad allergies" quickly morphed into "uh oh."  And I spent the next two days in bed in our hotel room debating whether I had the energy to walk the two-hundred yards to the adjacent grocery store for a cup of soup (answer: nope).

I started to feel marginally better around the time we left to come home, but missed a really fun visit.  Meanwhile, Wes came down with a giant fever of doom the night before we left to go home.  I knew when I saw him asleep in the fetal position on the living room floor at five o'clock that something was amiss and sure enough, he had a big fever.  James is sick too.  The night we got back he was up until midnight screaming with ear pain.  HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

And then on New Year's day I nearly cut the tip of my thumb off while slicing an onion for some chili I was throwing together for dinner. Ryan was upstairs vaccumming and because I lost my brain and ambulatory abilities in addition to a bunch of skin on my thumb, I stood in the kitchen yelling stupidly for James to "GO GET PAPA! GO GET PAPA! GO GET PAPA!" while I held a dubiously clean dishtowel to my bleeding thumb. Ryan finally heard all the commotion and came running downstairs. He got everyone in the car, dropped me off at urgent care, picked up a pizza, went home to feed the kids, SLICED UP THE REST OF THE ONION AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE, then came to pick me up after they stitched me back together and gave me a tetanus shot. It was a great moment, you guys. The best part is that I get to walk around all week with a piece of string sticking out of my thumb and firm instructions to "Don't bump it, don't catch it on things, don't get it too wet or the FLAP WILL DIE." GAG GAG GAG. Yesterday, I followed those instructions TO THE FREAKING letter as I managed multiple in/out of the car trips with associated buckling/unbuckling/carrying/lifting, several loads of laundry, and yes I finished the chili. Things aren't looking too good for the flap. THUMBS UP!

Today we got up early and everyone took me to the airport for my flight. Instead of working in the gate area I breathed through my nose and tried not to ugly cry TOO much. I do not like leaving by myself, contrary to what you might expect. And Wes was still sick. And Charley was visibly crushed that I was leaving. And they start school on Tuesday. And I am terrified about All The Professional Things which will be required of me in the next few days. It was haaaaard, you guys. But then I called after we boarded and everyone was having a lovely time playing xBox at an electronics store. I think they'll be alright.

My flight was fine, well, it was fine once I got my carry on in the overhead bin, which required removing a giant fistful of my incredibly sexy Hanes cotton underwear and a hot pink sports bra from the outside pocket of my suitcase and cramming it into my backpack in full view of the back half of the plane. It took a couple of tries to get the bra completely tucked away because I had to be careful of my thumb flap. You definitely want to travel with me.

After we landed I took a very easy light rail train trip to get to my hotel because it was only $2 instead of the $25 cab ride and I figured had a similar record in the abduction/murder department (which is to say, LOW RISK unless you watch too much Dateline like I do and then you will know that Phoenix is near the desert, which is where ALLLLLL the bodies end up). Thanks to a friendly law student with blue hair that I befriended at the ticket kiosk, I got off the train about ten feet from the door of my hotel. WIN. And then I found the CVS for my forgotten dental care items and a Chipotle for my lunch and took a really amazing shower and now ALL IS WELL. Except now I have to work. Like a lot. And not go ice skating at the place I found down the street. Or watch HGTV all afternoon. Being a grown up is kind of the pits.


Brooke said...

Oh mercy. Wishing you and your thumb flap lots of luck at the conference. Professional grown up stuff is so stupid hard. But worth it! And leaving babies/big kids also really hard. Here's to a happy reunion.

A. said...

Hope the conference goes well (I'm sure it will)! AND, I hope that thumb heals up well :-).

Anonymous said...

You're such a beacon of hope! Everytime I feel overwhelmed with all I have to cope with, I read one of your blog posts and think, if you can be wittily funny through all that happens around you, heck, I've got no reason to whine. It's just amazing how you do, and I'm sure you will continue to do so. Good luck with the presentation!
MM (usually a lurker)

Chiconky said...

Good luck! I'm sorry about your thumb :( is it weird to say that's a great picture of you (minus the flap, of course)?

candy said...

have fun in Phoenix!