It has come to my attention that the "holiday surprise" James's class is planning for all the parents is an adorable three to six year old rendition of Jingle Bells.
I know this because every time James gets in the car after school he complains about how Jingle Bells is too long and too hard to learn. So last night while I was impatiently standing by the oven wondering aloud by the freaking fracking Stouffers lasagna was taking so freaking long to freaking cook as the hungry children circled around me like vultures, I decided that we should ALL PRACTICE SINGING JINGLE BELLS with James!!
He was unenthusiastic about my plan and told me this by sighing deeply, covering his face with his hands, and groaning "It's too HAAAARD and LOOOOONG."
Jingle Bells, friends. The Ave Maria of three-year-old-dom.
"OK, I'll start!" I chirped, with the enthusiasm of someone whose husband's impending arrival would be greeted with the first glass of wine of the evening.
"Dashing through the --"
"On a one horse open --"
"O'r the fields we --"
"I HATE DIS SONG!!!"
I was undaunted. After the next line, "Laughing all the way!" I attempted to pick him up and tickle him into compliance. Dang it, how hard is it to shout happily "Ha ha ha!"? Seriously.
Apparently, though, this is the last straw because he started scream crying and didn't stop until Ryan came home.
I think we'll work on Frosty the Snowman next!