Monday, October 13, 2014

ZAPPED

Well!  Cozy work-a-thon day didn't go quite as expected.  Because someone chose yesterday to develop a lower GI malady and fever.  Because of course.

Ryan worked at the kitchen table most of Sunday night, on a big deadline for work.  I was also working most of Sunday night.  But instead of working on my actual work, I was having long, long, LOOOONG conversations with Charley.  All night long.

We talked about school and frogs and rocks and space and canoeing and biking and a weird story about a kid at his old school who showed him her undies (?) so he showed her his undies (??) one day in the cafeteria (?????).

At 3:30 Ryan and Charley and I were all gathered around the frog tank marveling at what interesting creatures they were.  All SEVEN OF THEM.  Because APPARENTLY, frogs are nocturnal and APPARENTLY, Charley hadn't let anyone out all weekend (unbeknownst to me) and APPARENTLY, they've been burrowing down into the dirt where I couldn't see them until last night when the zombie frog-pocalypse happened and they all came out of their holes at the same time.

SEVEN FROGS.

Zero crickets.  There were around twenty at one point yesterday.

It was a surreal family moment, standing around in our jammies in the predawn hours, exhausted but unable to tear ourselves away from the SEVEN FROGS chilling on our kitchen island.

I really love the frogs by the way.  After I asked him to release them all into the wild for some fresh air and snacking, he was being particularly nice so I told him he could go out and recapture one of them.

He brought back the one he calls Cindy.  At nearly fourteen pounds, Cindy is the largest frog I have ever seen.  She enjoys burrowing and eating crickets and being held inches away from the screaming faces of neighborhood girls.

Cindy now has a friend in the tank.  Whether the friend was a stowaway that never made it back outside or a new one that came back tonight I do not know.  What I'm saying is that I might have had EIGHT FROGS living in my kitchen this weekend.

So anyway, after Charley's late night (or non-night you might call it) he slept really late this morning.  After Ryan left to take everyone else to school on the way to work, I took my cup of coffee outside to the (covered) back porch to enjoy the rain and cooler weather.

I had been out there for about two minutes when I heard a strange wooshing noise, followed by the dining room windows making an ELECTRONIC BUZZING SOUND.  I had just turned my head to see what was causing the noise when KA-BOOOM!!!!!

Lightning struck something very, very close to my house.

THERE WAS NO TIME TO COUNT TO ANYTHING ONE-THOUSAND.  Mostly because I was trying not to wet myself.

I QUICKLY picked my way across the wet patio to get the hell back inside.  Where I should have been all along.  Then I slammed and locked the back door.  Nothing gets past a builder-grade deadbolt.  Not even ten-thousand volts of electricity.

You guys.  It was terrifying.

So I Googled "sound before lightning strike" and got MANY articles describing EXACTLY what I experienced.  Chills.  I have chills.  And I will be spending the next thunderstorm in a Faraday Cage in my bed.

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