Friday, October 10, 2014

Fall break is over, SAD. How montessori kids mess around. Inappropriate use of screens.

Fall break continues!

My friend M posted a funny article on FB the other day about how your life changes when you go from two to three kids. On it were things like how you can't hold everyone's hands in a parking lot so every journey from the car to the supermarket involves lots of barking orders like "HOLD HER HAND! HOLD HER HAND! OMG GO GET HER!!!!!" Thankfully our grocery store has sidewalks that go way out into the parking lot which means in theory that I have a safe place for everyone to wait while I get the two smaller ones out of the car. In practice what this means is that no one has any sense of danger and by the time I get the two little ones out of the car, the two big ones have scurried all the way up the sidewalk and are now hanging upside down from the benches near the front of the store. So this friend suggested I make a similar list of things that change when you go from three to four kids, which is what I was going to do, but then I took this one picture the other night that I thought summed everything up perfectly.

First kid doesn't watch a MOMENT of TV until they are two (or, in my case, until you become pregnant with the second one and need something for them to do while you vomit your breakfast of greenbeans and toast into the kitchen sink because you are too exhausted to hop over the babygate quickly). The second one catches a few minutes here and there because the older one is watching. The third one is never home because you are driving the other two around all the damn time. And by the time you have four, CURIOUS GEORGE COMES TO DINNER!

(Mary was totally watching and even started screaming when it paused for buffering. She's not in this photo because she goes to bed around 5:15, about three minutes after her frontal lobe shuts down from exhaustion and she cannot be placated by standing, sitting, playing, rocking, eating, or drinking milk. This happens every single night and she still sleeps until 6:45 in the morning)

(We don't normally plunk my laptop on the kitchen table in lieu of actual human interaction during dinner. On this particular night ALL FOUR OF THEM were having full-on meltdowns as I was getting their food plated up. Imagine FOUR CHILDREN screaming at top volume all at once. This is the kind of situation that leads to moral relativism: TV during dinner is better than becoming an alcoholic is better than physical violence.)

Also, did you know that we have a community of frogs living in our water meter? Every day, Charley goes and catches them then puts them in this tank we bought him for observation. He was keeping them in a diaper box in the garage, but they kept escaping and I didn't want one to starve to death after getting lost in the garage. He makes them tunnels out of paper cups that they hide in. His record is SIX frogs at once and one of them was the size of a softball. Recently, we doubled down on frog-mania and started buying live crickets for them to eat. So now I have frogs and live crickets living in my kitchen (and god knows what else, but that's not Charley's fault).

I had him release everyone into the wild before he went to spend the night at his grandparents' house (he will catch them again) and I kind of miss their funny little noises (which I'm almost positive mean they're doing it).

Last night James came into my room where I was fast asleep at 7:30 PM (sick) and said "Do you want to see what I did to my room?" I asked him "Is it bad?" he nodded, barely stifling a giggle. Afraid there might be bodily fluids involved, I dragged myself in there to find this. Hashtag: MontessoriHyjinks.

My parents took Charley and Wes to the aquarium while I was teaching on Wednesday and they had a BLAST, except for this dinosaur exhibit, which apparently was terrifying:

And I'll leave you with this kayak selfie from the other day. SUCH a fun day. So sad school is starting again on Monday (except not THAT sad because that is when MY fall break starts which would be more fun if I hadn't just lost a week of work to kid fall break and I'm going to spend the whole thing attempting to learn "R" for this freaking project I have to do for a conference in January. If this were a movie there would be a musical montage that showed me overcoming my frustration, finishing the analysis, doing an awesome job at the conference, and ultimately accepting a tenure track position at a Tier One institution. In reality, I will be consuming WAY TOO MUCH caffeine and refined carbohydrates and using the "F" word a lot. Win some lose some.)

1 comment:

Veterinarimom said...

Moral relativism - you speak the truth!!! I loved that sentence intensely. :)