Monday, September 8, 2014

Dinner smells gross and my car is nearly out of gas. Not a metaphor.

Big day for me. First, after spend the whole weekend getting ready, and grading, and grading some more, and planning my class for several hours, and staying up until after midnight G-R-A-D-I-N-G (seriously, whose idea was it to assign a weekly writing assignment to FORTY THREE STUDENTS? OTOH, there was some comedy GOLD in that first batch. Like the kid who attributed the phrase "There is nothing new under the sun," which is from Ecclesiastes in the Bible, to a scientist working for the American Meteorological Society in 1959. You laugh so you don't cry) and getting stuff ready for today around the house, class kind of SUCKED today.

I planned to do this demonstration during class that would require four students to take data for ten minutes, then four other students to come up and take data for ten more minutes. That part went well, if not a bit awkwardly because ZERO PEOPLE wanted to volunteer and I had to threaten to turn on club music and have a five minute dance break to loosen them up just to get the first four people out of their chairs. So that was an unorthodox approach (It totally worked on James this morning, however when he wouldn't settle down and eat breakfast and I blasted "Fancy" from my computer and sang "Eat your apples!" instead of "I'm so fancy!" That song is totally stuck in your head right now, you're welcome).

Even more awkward was the moment I thought "Hey, I can either lecture while those students are taking data and they will miss that material, OR we could all just sit around staring at each other which is weird." Ultimately I chose something in between, which was AWFUL AND WEIRD. And THEN, the data came out totally freaking BACKWARDS from the way it was supposed to, so I just stood there looking at the screen like "Huh. Not really sure what to say about that. How about I talk sideways about it for fifteen minutes and ask if they have any thoughts forty-seven times? Class ended twenty minutes early and I felt like a moron. But at least I'm pulling down eleven cents an hour.

Fresh off of the "I suck at teaching" wave, I showed up to Charley's teacher conference at 1:25 only to find out that OOPS! 1:25 was actually the END TIME FOR THE CONFERENCE YOU WORTHLESS SKIMMER. But it was OK because though the teacher needed to get back to class, the assistant principal, with whom Charley is fairly well acquainted, also needed to talk to us. IT WAS NOT A POSITIVE CONVERSATION. Silver lining: made it allllmost back to the car before I had a giant purse-throwing tantrum then drove off without saying goodbye to Ryan.

I did not know where to go because I have to be back at school at 3:30 for Wes's conference and I didn't want to go back to my office, so I came home. When I walked in the door I was greeted with the delightful smell of a Major Crockpot Fail ongoing in the kitchen. I tried to make minestrone soup. It smells like two tomatoes went to CrossFit and then caught on fire. I think I am going to throw the whole thing in the trash and have wine for dinner.

And now I have to get ready for tomorrow morning's meeting with my TA for the spring, which means finding the textbook I plan to use and reacquaint myself with the table of contents enough that I sound sort of intelligent tomorrow, which we now know is NOT ONE OF MY STRENGTHS.


Sarah said...

Wine for sure. I bet you FELT way more awkward than you looked in class, BTW. Researchers claim that 90% of nervousness/insecurity is invisible to your audience.

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Brooke said...

Oh man. I'm sorry about the conference. I laughed at the eleven cents an hour because seriously. I hate when good lesson plans go badly. Wine sounds like the answer. May tomorrow be a better day.

Unknown said...

Sorry about the conference. I got a note home from my son's kindergarten tacher during the second week of school and it just about undid me (my anxious squirrel brain immediately conjured up an entire school year featuring negative notes home, unpleasant teacher conferences, meetings with the principal, etc. Not a helpful reaction). Hang in there and be good to yourself!

Susan said...

Wine and dark chocolate!

Anonymous said...

Oh lordy, fun times. If it makes you feel better, I taught with my zipper down for the majority of the day. AND, both kids have strep. Score.