Friday, August 15, 2014


Well, we made it! One week in which we had to get all six of us up, fed, dressed, and in the car by 7:20. This was by far the hardest morning. You'd think that hitting the ground running at 5:45 because James didn't quiiiite make it to the potty and left poo footprints all over the upstairs hallway would mean we had plenty of time to get ready, but it didn't work out that way. Turns out when one parent is occupied Cloroxing the entire upstairs of your house (so that you do not LITERALLY live in a shithole), that leaves only one person to force-dress, force-feed, and force-backpack-pack the four kids, who all thought this school thing was pretty awesome on Monday but have since changed their tune. THE THRILL IS GONE MY FRIENDS.

I did get a shower, though, and that was nice.

I also made my bed because seeing my bed unmade in the middle of the day stresses me out and spending five minutes in the morning to avoid afternoon stress is a good plan.

So now my bed is an island of order in a room FILLED WITH a) clean, folded laundry, b) dirty, piled up laundry, c) books, d) children's books, and e) two enormous upholstered chairs and one ottoman that DO NOT FIT IN THE ROOM BUT HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO LIVE.

Ryan and I have decided to stop dreaming about another thousand square feet and try to keep house clean instead. IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE. Which is why I'm writing this and not taking care of the laundry-folding job on the kitchen table?

Yesterday was a special day in which I got an angry note on my windshield about my (perfectly adequate) parking job. The note (which was written in purple glitter pen on a McDonalds napkin, so do with that information what you will) indicated that I was "taking up two parking spaces" and that was "not cool." Well. Since I don't drive an extended cab pickup with a trailer, it is physically impossible for me to LITERALLY take up TWO ENTIRE parallel parking spaces. I think what she MEANT to say was "Your back bumper is six inches over the line to accommodate the handicap ramp on the other side and my inadequate parallel parking skills mean that I cannot maneuver into the still, perfectly reasonably sized, parking space behind you." I see this now, but yesterday, after Charley had a HORRIFIC DAY on Wednesday, sent me into a tailspin.

Fortunately, I had already planned to meet Ryan for lunch yesterday.

Unfortunately, later I got yelled at by a cop for blocking the driveway of what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse while I was waiting in the pickup line at the kids' school. NOTE that I was IN MY CAR AT THE TIME. A simple "Please don't block the driveway" would have worked nicely, but instead he chose to gesticulate WILDLY at my closed window until I noticed him and opened the window, totally confused, then shout "DID YOU SEE THAT SIGN?!!" and when I indicated that I had not seen the sign he yelled angrily "IT SAYS DON'T BLOCK THE DRIVEWAY! THIS IS A BUSINESS! IT'S *SIMPLE*!" What's ironic is that the reason I didn't see the sign was because I was distracted by the way he was driving like fifty miles per hour through the parking lot, flying around corners on two wheels, and slamming on his breaks right by the driveway and I was distracted! PROFESSIONALISM, it's a THING.

After that incident he spent the next twenty minutes speeding up and down the street next to the car line, making dangerous Uturns, and pulling people over for various things. CHILL THE EFF OUT DUDE.

Later things got better. The kids had a great day and came out of school happy and fun! We went to the store for dinner things and had a nice time together! When we got home, our neighbors were out playing with their blowup waterslide, so we went over there and had a wonderful hour of fun with friends, then came home for a movie and then some dinner. Bedtime was cozy and sweet and easy and everyone went to sleep quickly. Deep breaths, it's going to be OK.



Sarah said...

Dude! That sounds like a gauntlet EVERY MORNING. Ben and I were just complaining that we each have to get Cooper and Dorothy dressed to drive Coop to school ONE (1) morning a week. We have been made wimpy by our routine of waving vaguely at the boys as the walk across the street. Still! At least you don't have a freezing winter because bundling, too, times four? OMG I can't even think about it.

Veterinarimom said...

Wow, that cop sounds like a nut job! I'm glad he didn't hurt anyone, driving like that near a school pickup line!!!

Sorry the thrill of school has worn off. Even for Wes? Even with all the new school supplies? (I am so excited to be able to buy notebooks etc for the kids when they start school!!!! I hope at least one of them loves school supplies as much as I do).