Charley: My "amen" is that I got to spend alone time with Mom. My "aw man" is that church is boring.
Wes: My "amen" is that we are having cookies for dessert and my "aw man" is that Charley got to spend alone time with Mom.
Me to Ryan: I saw a house for sale online that had five bedrooms and an extra living area. It was so nice and big! And affordable. If I sell one of my kidneys.
Charley: I don't want to move. I like to play in the woods here.
Me: Well as long as you and Wes can share a room without making me crazy, then we can stay here as long as you want!
Charley: Can we get bunk beds?
Me: We are not getting bunk beds until you two can agree on who gets the top bunk.
Wes: Oh! Charley can have the top bunk!
Charley: (wordlessly gets up and circles the table to envelop Wes in a huge bear hug. Returns to seat.)
Wes: (continues eating spaghetti) I said Charley could have the top bunk because I was afraid he would get angry at me.
Charley: Maybe we could switch off who gets the top bunk. We could do rock paper scissors!
Ryan, me, in unison: NO!
James: My "amen" is....is...is...is...is... ... ... church?
Charley: Rock! Paper! Scissors!
Wes: Three...two...one... blastoff!!
Me: Wes, please put down spaghetti and use your fork.
Charley: Roooooocccck! Paaaaaaper! Scisssssors! KABOOM!
Me: Wes, use your fork or no cookies.
James: I no want a bunk bed. I sweep in Mary's room?
Charley: I could have the top bunk one day, and then Wes could have it the next day.
Me: What about "Whoever washes the kitchen floor the fastest gets the top bunk"? WES. FORK.
Ryan: I'm not putting up that bunk bed until I know it's safe. Mom sat on Wes's bed once and fell straight through to the floor.
Me: Anyway, I really like our house and our street. We're probably have to move out before we listed our house anyway because it's such a pit all the time.
Wes: What if we both slept on the top bunk?
Me: Eat. Please. Fork. (I make eye contact with Ryan and wonder if we will ever have a conversation again)
(Time passes. General hubbub continues. Children are reminded to stay in their seats. Cookies are distributed and eaten)
Me: OK everyone! Jammies!
Kids: Scurry up the stairs.