You know how your hair grows in really nice and thick while you are pregnant? And then how it falls out by the handful for the first year of your baby's life? Or possibly the stress of living in a frat house/zoo while attempting to create a career out of thin air is making my hair fall out? Either way, I've been finding enough stray hairs on my clothes to knit a sweater. A hair sweater. Cozy!
But the worst part of shedding like a golden retriever in July is the way the loose hairs always seem to find their way INTO MY BRA.
You know how it is. You're teaching your class and feel this absolutely unbearable itching/tickling sensation in your cleavage area and have to use every ounce of will to not start wildly scratching your boobs. Then as soon as the last "I'm sorry I was late did I miss anything important (!!)?" leaves you tear down the hall to the privacy of your closet-office (cloffice) to jam your hand down your shirt and pull out the ONE SINGLE HAIR that was somehow causing that much discomfort.
It also happened during a university ceremony in which I was wearing a cap and gown and subject to intermittent jumbo-tron filming.
That ceremony was ninety minutes long but I made it. I could be a sniper.
Today I was talking to Wes's science teacher at dropoff when I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't even try to be discreet as I pulled what appeared to be a small hamster out of my shirt. I would have been embarrassed if I wasn't so relieved.
I'm not sure what the solution is but I'm thinking either a short summery haircut or a trip back to 1987 to get some of those turtleneck tank tops.