Tuesday, March 4, 2014

An average afternoon

Getting home after work at 5:15 is not unlike getting shot out of a cannon in that you have to hit the ground running or you will fall flat on your face.  Today I walked into a tranquil scene with the kids watching Thomas and/or playing nicely while our nanny put the finishing touches on a King Cake she had made with the kids (aside: AWESOME).

Tranquil, that is, until they spotted me, and then after that it was effing chaos.

The dog was barking, Mary was screaming, and a cloud of humanity was jumping all around me trying to get my attention.

After an appropriate amount of hugging and kissing and hellos and how was your day's I had to put my blinders on and slap dinner together before all hell broke loose (more loose than it already was of course).  I had three pans going, sausage, scrambled eggs, and pancakes (Shrove Tuesday.  I do love a good obscure holiday) while Miss N fed Mary some sweet potatoes and Charley and Wes put sprinkles on the King Cake.  I also attempted to maintain four conversations at the same time.

Dinner was almost ready when James wandered in from the laundry room, stark naked.  He stood there, looking at me blankly.  I smiled and told him "You just need to get your undies back on before dinner."  He pouted and ran to the living room to pick a fight with Wes.

Charlie ran through the room singing.  "DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING? SINGING THE SONG OF ANGRY MEN! IT IS THE MUSIC OF A PEOPLE WHO WILL NOT BE SLAVES AGAIN!" in a deep opera voice.  Wes joined in.  Everyone was singing at the top of their lungs, BADLY, Charley holding his arm out dramatically like one of the three tenors.  Mary started howling along with a huge smile, arm outstretched in a perfect imitation of Charley.

Finally the kids' dinner was on the table and everyone was sitting down.  I made them do math problems to get syrup.  Because they will do anything for syrup and I like to ensure they don't have a normal childhood.

Me: Wes?  What is two plus one?

Wes: Twenty one!!

Me (holding up fingers): Good thinking, but let's try again, TWOOOO?  plus ONNNNNE?

Wes: Three!!

Me: Great job, here you go!  James, what is the number that comes after one?

James: Nine?

Me: Nine is a number, very good!!  Charley, what is two times three?

Charley (in a deadpan, while chewing): Six.

Me: Great!  Here you go!

(Later, after bedtime, while Ryan ate his dinner, this happened: Ryan: The derivative of x cubed is three x squared.  Me: What?  Ryan: I want syrup too.)

After dinner I held a fussy Mary on my hip and stood in the middle of the living room barking orders about putting toys back in the playroom, cleaning up fort materials, putting dishes in the sink, and practicing piano (Play your LESSON MUSIC FTLOG STOP WITH THE CHRISTMAS CAROLS).  Finally Mary consented to sit in the Exersaucer and I tackled two days' worth of dishes and pots and pans that were all the freak over the kitchen.  This went on for thirty-five clock-watching minutes until Ryan finally burst in the door, very apologetically explaining that he had gotten Hey Peter-ed on the way out the door.

I ran to the nursery with Mary and my Kindle shortly after Ryan got home.  I was hiding putting the baby down.  Ryan's kind of amazed when it only takes me ten minutes to get her down on Downton Abbey nights because it takes me almost thirty minutes every other night.  SO WEIRD.

When I heard things quiet down I gave her one more kiss and laid her down in bed and tiptoed into Charley and Wes's room for the tail end of storytime.  Everyone was all smiley and cuddly and wearing clean jammies and aww, they're so cute and nice, let's just sit here and snuggle together forever!  Until Ryan finished the last book and then someone wanted his slippers, someone wanted a glass of water, someone couldn't find his book and OMG PLEASE JUST GET IN BED AND DON'T GET OUT AGAIN.

So now, I am having my second slice of King Cake and a glass of wine and am about to settle into a book about Python, the programming language that I need to know for school.  As soon as Ryan's done with HIS brief work thing it will be time for Parenthood and pajamas.  Dude.


LL said...

I have always loved Ryan, but this made me love him even more, "Ryan: The derivative of x cubed is three x squared. Me: What? Ryan: I want syrup too."


Sarah said...

math for syrup-- genius!

Chiconky said...

Love the syrup economy!

Erica said...

I've got to introduce Anna to Les Miz ASAP.

Christina said...

This made me listen to the Les Mis soundtrack for a few nights in a row while working at home after dinner. Love it! Hats off btw to you and all the moms who wrangle kids and make dinner simultaneously each night of the week. So much respect!