Well! Being thirty-eight weeks pregnant has done WONDERS for my maternal warmth and patience, as you might imagine.
Today James wouldn't stop yelling at me while I was trying to load the dishwasher. He wanted more Cheerios an hour after breakfast and I wouldn't give him any because he had left the table without finishing despite at least three warnings about future hunger from me and that is one of my Things right now, wasting food, since we go through almost a gallon of milk a day as it is. I'd been deflecting him calmly for about ten minutes but he continued to YELL at my back and bang his bowl on the table. "CEEE-ROL! CEEEE-ROL! CEEEE-ROL!" I finally turned around and said "STOP!" very firmly and loudly, but certainly not out-of-control yell-y and immediately he dissolved into a puddle of (fake) tears.
And then our babysitter walked in.
And then Charlie said "Mom! Don't you remember what we talked about?"
Yes. I do remember that conversation quite clearly. The one in which I'd spent more than twenty minutes trying to cajole you and your brothers into the car TO GO TO THE POOL and you said, with one shoe on, nowhere near the car, "Maybe your back wouldn't hurt all the time if you didn't yell so much."
I think I responded with an eerily calm "Go. Get. In. The. Car. Please."
Instead of what I wanted to say, which was "I am asking you to get in the car to go to the pool, not to board a transport to Gitmo. I would much rather stay here and lock you in the back yard but then I would go to jail, or be up all night feeling guilty. Again. SOGETINTHEEFFINGCARRIGHTNOW. And if you don't want third degree burns on your feet, I suggest you put your shoes on."
Interestingly, I have not yelled at anyone since that incident with James this morning and my back STILL HURTS.
The good news is that despite three nights of almost zero sleep this week (due to I have no idea what) and the labor-breathing-worthy pain caused by my freaking desk chair, I am feeling about 90% good about the abstract my students and I are preparing for an August 1st submission deadline. Note that August 1st falls BETWEEN two of my possible induction dates next week. I am not sure I am effectively communicating the urgency of FINISHING THE FREAKING ABSTRACT ALREADY to my students, but it will be OK. It will be OK. It will be OK. The hospital has wifi and it WILL be OK and possibly make a great story for the memoir I will write one day entitled "EVERYONE STOP ASKING ME TO DO THINGS."