Friday, March 22, 2013

When Stupid Attacks

I was so proud of myself for gathering all the library books together and putting them in my car the other day.  Now, all I had to do was find a few spare moments to drop them off at their two respective libraries (university and city) and I would be a model of efficiency and organization!  Then, yesterday, we were actually running about twenty minutes EARLY for swim lessons which is right down the street from the library.  BAM.  I win motherhood.

So I pulled the van into the alley behind the library where the drive through book drop is located and parked the car.  I hefted the huge Boat and Tote out of the passenger seat, carefully checked that I was returning the right books to the right library, mentally patted myself on the back, and opened the door of the book return.

When I put the eight or so books in the drawer and tried to close it, it jammed, presumably because I was trying to cram eight large children's books in at once.  A normal person, or maybe someone else who has a Ph.D. in engineering, would have removed some of the larger items and put them through the book drop in batches.  This is probably what I should have done, but then who would write the blog posts that make you feel good about your own practical skills?

Since the door wouldn't close with the eight books stacked up like they were, I slid my hand in and sort of pushed the books down toward the back of the drawer where they (I'm assuming) fall into the inside of the library or something.

As I slid the top books down, the door began to close.

Oh!  It's working!  I thought.  Great!

So I pushed the next few books down the back of the drawer until it seemed like I would be able to close the whole thing and drive off into the swim lessons sunset.

So I tried to get my hand out of the drawer so I could close it all the way.

And it was stuck.

Very, very, very stuck.

Books were preventing the other side of the drawer from coming up, which meant MY side of the drawer would not come DOWN.  Which meant my hand was stuck.

I tried to wiggle it out.  This made more of the books slip into the opening on the other side, which meant the door got tighter.

I stood there like a moron in the open door of my running car, two kids in the back, blocking the entire alley, with my freaking hand stuck in the freaking bookdrop like a freaking moron wondering what in the HELL I was going to do?

No one else was around.  This was both a good and a bad thing.

I pulled.  Nothing.  I pulled harder.  Still nothing.  I looked up at the surveillance camera and wondered how may people were gathered around the display laughing at me.

Finally I decided I'd rather lose the hand than have another person find me standing there like an idiot so I gritted my teeth and pulled with all my might.

Verrrry slowly, I started to make some progress.  It felt like my hand was being run over by a car, but at least my hand was moving (in the right direction this time).  The bones on the top of my hand briefly got hung up on the lip on the top of the drawer but there was NO TURNING BACK.  This HAD to HAPPEN.

Some more slow tugging and wiggling and the bones popped free and I was liberated.  "Bones popping free" feels exactly like it sounds.  Crushing pain followed by the sweet, sweet relief of fresh air on my skin and the fact that I did not have to involve Ryan or the fire department.  Scratched up and bruised and feeling like a huge idiot, but thankfully no longer trapped, I got in the car and we went to swimming like nothing unusual had happened.

Thank goodness I wasn't wearing a watch.

4 comments:

sarah said...

OMG! I feel seriously awful for laughing so hard at this. But I can't help it. I'm glad your hands okay. :-)

Brooke said...

Glad you didn't have to gnaw it off.

Chiconky said...

This is totally something I would do! Glad you survived :)

Candy on Endeavor said...

Yeah, who cares what time it was?