Some sarcastic answers I've considered providing when asked by the scheduler the reason I am making a sick appointment for my kid:
*His nose and eyes been running for two weeks and Tuesdays are kind of slow, so I figured what the hell?
*I'd like the children to contract the flu now so they don't have it on our vacation in March.
*I haven't spoken with an adult in two days. How have you been?
*It's cold and raining and for our $15 copay we can watch movies in the waiting room as long as we want. Way cheaper than the movies. Also: wifi.
*I need an excuse to visit the Dunkin Donuts next door.
*One or more of the children have had a fever somewhere between warm to the touch and 103.5 recurrently for the last three to five days. I cannot remember the details so I have chosen the sickest-looking child and will treat everyone according to the doctor's recommendations.
*I need blog material and locking myself in an eight by eight room with three small children never fails to stir up my creative juices.
*My older son needs five tongue depressors for a school project.
*Yes, please, I'd like one large with pepperoni and one veggie lovers for carryout...Oh, sorry, my mistake.
*There are fluids. That is all you need to know.