James managed to infect not just me, but also our babysitter, with the pestilence of doom, so I have spent much of today lying in my bed reading books and willing the room to stop spinning around. I didn't feel great yesterday either but decided it was because I was bored and so that's why I went out and had a beer and a giant slice of cake with a friend last night. Special bonus of GI virus of doom? That piece of cake totally did not count. WIN.
Anyway. We are going on a lengthy trip starting tomorrow morning and this means that God is using the hantavirus as a way to help me get over my control-freak tendencies. Which is to say that Ryan is packing for the family. And he is doing a really great job. I should really get out of the way more often. Ryan = awesome, but I think most of you already knew that. Seriously.
While I was lying in bed reading Little Women (TV not working and the book I'm reading about corporate farm practices is not nice to my tummy at the moment) he came in and asked if I knew where our VCR was. Curious, I went downstairs to see what was going on. I found the kids jumping around waving a VHS copy of 101 Dalmations that they found somewhere in the closet they're not supposed to play in.
Ryan returned to the living room bearing what must be the last VCR on the planet that has been stashed in our closet since we moved in. He triumphantly began connecting it to our TV, perplexed because of all the strange inputs and outputs it had.
"You see this, kids? It's a VCR. I'll bet none of your friends has one of these babies."
The kids gathered around with rapt attention. Just like I did when my parents brought home their very first VCR. When I was five.
"A BCRDBD?" asked Wes.
"That's right, buddy!" replied Ryan, grunting a little as he shifted our TV around to plug in a cable.
He stepped back to admire his work. "Hand me the tape" he said. Charlie just looked at him. "The movie, Charlie, let me have the movie." And then with great flourish he shoved it into the BCRDBD.
"What's that noise?!" Charlie inquired.
"It's rewinding!" Ryan said with enthusiasm.
"What's THAT?" Charlie wanted to know.
"It's how the movie gets back to the beginning. Before Papa and I were married, if you didn't rewind you had to pay the video store two dollars!" I told him importantly.
Several minutes later the whirring sound stopped and it was time to watch the movie. The kids dissolved into fits of giggles as Ryan fast-forwarded the previews. "LOOK AT HOW FAST THEY'RE WALKING!" shrieked Wes. "WHY ARE THEY MOVING SO FAST?!" added Charlie.
The kids have never seen fast-forward before. Something is lost with the Menu button, I tell you. When are you supposed to microwave your popcorn? Let the lava lamp warm up? Invite a friend over to watch with you using your actual voice?
Finally, Ryan pushed "play". We waited with bated breath. Would this marvelous new technology actually work? We could hear all sorts of commotion coming from inside the machine. Something was happening.
And then, the movie started playing! Aaaannnd then the screen turned black. Huh.
Charlie broke the silence. "Rub it on your shirt!"
Ryan attempted to clean the heads by inserting a sock-covered knitting needle into the machine. The kids were beside themselves. "PAPA PUT A SOCK IN THE BCRDVED!" they howled.
Though it was clever, Ryan's solution did not fix the problem.
Ultimately we determined that there was something wrong with the tape. The kids unearthed a second one, "Babe", and all was well. I think we'll make them watch the wedding video next.