Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Good morning!

Scene: Backyard, 8:30 AM, family is trying to kill an hour before a dentist appointment without killing each other or staring slack-jawed at the TV the whole time. Charlie is swinging, Wes is sitting on stationary swing, James is walking around with a walker, Rossby is acting like an idiot, as usual.

Charlie: After the dentist can we go to the Ikea Kids' Club?

Mom: I don't think we'll have time, buddy. Charlie: WHY NOT?!!

Mom: Because we will need to eat lunch while we are at Ikea.

Charlie: WE NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN (still swinging).

Wes: I WANT TO 'FWING!' I WANT TO FWING! PUSH ME ON THE FWING!

Charlie: I NEVER GET TO GO TO THE KIDS' CLUB!!

Wes: I WANT TO FWING! I WANT TO FWING!

James: blood-curdling scream for no apparent reason.

Wes: FWING! FWING! FWING!

Charlie: I know what we can do today. We can build a BOAT! I want to build a boat today, Mom! Can we build a boat?

Mom: Not today, Charlie. We could plan how to build a boat, but we can't build it today.

Wes: FWING FWING FWING!

James: RRRRRAAAAAAAAACCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Charlie: I NEVER GET TO HAVE FUN!! (still swinging)

Rossby: WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF.

Wes: MAMA!! PUSH ME ON THE FWING!

Charlie: I never get to build a boat! I never get to go to Kids' Club. I WANT TO START KINDERGARTEN RIGHT NOW!

Mom: Don't tempt me.

Charlie: What?

Mom: Nothing

Wes: I. WANT. TO. FWING!!

James: SSSSSSCCCCCRREEEEEEAAAM!!!!!!

Rossby resumes barking, Wes and Charlie are still complaining. James absentmindedly wanders behind Charlie's swing.

Mom: STOOOOPPPP!!! WATCH OUT!!!!!

James gets clocked. Twice, before Charlie can get the swing stopped. James is screaming. Charlie is screaming. I pick up James. Charlie runs inside screaming. I inspect James for injuries. He is fine, but really pissed off.

Wes: MAMA I WANT TO FWING! I WANT TO FWING, MAMA! CAN YOU PUSH ME ON THE FWING?

James: WAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Wes: FWING MAMA!!

James: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Wes: Mama, I want you to PUSH ME ON THE FWING!!

James: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

And then I sent everyone to their rooms and wondered if 8:40 was too early for a drink.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Jack went through a ridiculous phase where he walked behind and in front of swings EVERY TIME he encountered them. It was stressful. Hope the rest of your day is less shouty. Although, I took all 3 to Harry;s dentist appointment last week, so...

Kim said...

I'm glad James is okay! The phrase "I never get to have fun" is quite common around here too. :)

Glad to know Franklin isn't the only JRT who knows just when to ramp up the bad behavior!!

Jennifer Seibel said...

summer is going to be so fun, right? Just so you know Sara says I never play with her, like constantly, even in the midst of when I am playing with her. Kids, they just know how to push our buttons!