Scene: Backyard, 8:30 AM, family is trying to kill an hour before a dentist appointment without killing each other or staring slack-jawed at the TV the whole time. Charlie is swinging, Wes is sitting on stationary swing, James is walking around with a walker, Rossby is acting like an idiot, as usual.
Charlie: After the dentist can we go to the Ikea Kids' Club?
Mom: I don't think we'll have time, buddy.
Charlie: WHY NOT?!!
Mom: Because we will need to eat lunch while we are at Ikea.
Charlie: WE NEVER GET TO DO ANYTHING FUN (still swinging).
Wes: I WANT TO 'FWING!' I WANT TO FWING! PUSH ME ON THE FWING!
Charlie: I NEVER GET TO GO TO THE KIDS' CLUB!!
Wes: I WANT TO FWING! I WANT TO FWING!
James: blood-curdling scream for no apparent reason.
Wes: FWING! FWING! FWING!
Charlie: I know what we can do today. We can build a BOAT! I want to build a boat today, Mom! Can we build a boat?
Mom: Not today, Charlie. We could plan how to build a boat, but we can't build it today.
Wes: FWING FWING FWING!
Charlie: I NEVER GET TO HAVE FUN!! (still swinging)
Wes: MAMA!! PUSH ME ON THE FWING!
Charlie: I never get to build a boat! I never get to go to Kids' Club. I WANT TO START KINDERGARTEN RIGHT NOW!
Mom: Don't tempt me.
Wes: I. WANT. TO. FWING!!
Rossby resumes barking, Wes and Charlie are still complaining. James absentmindedly wanders behind Charlie's swing.
Mom: STOOOOPPPP!!! WATCH OUT!!!!!
James gets clocked. Twice, before Charlie can get the swing stopped.
James is screaming. Charlie is screaming. I pick up James. Charlie runs inside screaming. I inspect James for injuries. He is fine, but really pissed off.
Wes: MAMA I WANT TO FWING! I WANT TO FWING, MAMA! CAN YOU PUSH ME ON THE FWING?
Wes: FWING MAMA!!
Wes: Mama, I want you to PUSH ME ON THE FWING!!
And then I sent everyone to their rooms and wondered if 8:40 was too early for a drink.