SO! Ryan was away for three days. The kids and I survived, BARELY. But now that he is back, we have yet to have a single conversation uninterrupted by screaming, bickering, or the sharp click of a closing door that means Wes is out of his bed for the hundred millionth time since lights out. Many, MANY times today Ryan and I looked at each other completely baffled by the wild Super Nanny "before" children we were living with.
Wes lost stories tonight for defiantly rubbing all the bright blue toothpaste off his toothbrush onto the carpet when I dared to ask him to please brush his teeth and stop trying to hide in my closet! Charlie had a thirty-minute meltdown about his goggles not fitting correctly! James had the most adorable tantrum (complete with "The Worm"! He did The Worm on my patio tonight) because I told him in a kind tone "Cheerios are for our tummies, no throwing!" And those are just the highlights!
There really are no words to adequately describe the tone of belligerence we've been living with since Thursday--the day it took us more than an hour to get from the church nursery to our house despite Ryan being at our house eagerly anticipating our arrival because Wes REFUSED to get up off the Fellowship Hall floor and STOP SCREAMING FTLOG. A friend had to carry James to my car while I carried Wes with one hand and held her three-year-old's hand and Charlie held her other three-year-old's hand as we crossed the parking lot. I was happy to return the favor after we buckled all of mine in and one of hers was wandering around not listening, but at least he was happy and not screaming. I felt kind of bad for Ryan when we got home but mostly was just glad that he was there because I wasn't sure I was going to survive one more second.
And tonight, right before dinner, Charlie fell off the top of the trash can and injured his foot. Couldn't possibly have seen THAT ONE COMING!
But the funny part was (the funny part?) that when he came into the house, limping and screaming, Ryan and I simultaneously looked at the clock, then at each other, like "Is urgent care still open or will we have to go to the emergency room?" We gave him a bag of frozen green beans to ice it down and he was fine after dinner.
We put them to bed early because of the bad behavior and also because, ENOUGH, you know? But they kept coming out for stupid reasons. Charlie's in my room! Wes is in my room! There's poop on the bathroom floor! I have to go potty! I heard a weird noise! Ryan finally put up the baby gate by Wes's door and the sound that came from within was like the end of the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy throws water on the Wicked Witch of the West, I kid you not. He's asleep now, I think, and it's the earliest night for him all week. Last night we think he conked out around ten thirty. Which explains a lot.
And now the air conditioner does not seem to be working. I calmly pointed out that the A/C, which I finally had to turn on because it was NINETY today, did not seem to be blowing cold air. Ryan went downstairs for twenty minutes then came back up and is now looking at a "1/4 H.P. 208 V 1 Speed Universal Condenser Motor" on his computer. I may not use my mechanical engineering degree very much anymore, but I do know that the condenser is the thing that makes things cold. And ours seems to be broken. Which is why I am sitting on my bed sweating profusely in shorts and a tank top in FREAKING MARCH I HATE YOU SO MUCH CARBON DIOXIDE.