Ryan mentioned to me the other day that he'd drafted our 2012 family budget and asked if I'd mind taking a look. I didn't have time right then, but I did mention that I'd been struggling to make our grocery budget, which seemed like a very generous number to me, stretch through the whole month. I started a spreadsheet detailing what things cost and how much we were buying, mostly to see if I could resume buying chocolate chips and if I still had to substitute kidney beans for chicken breasts in my recipes, and I was shocked to learn that we were going through upwards of TEN POUNDS OF BANANAS EVERY WEEK.
That seemed wholly unreasonable, so I checked my math again. Sure enough, we were out of bananas, and we'd bought seven and a half pounds of them four days prior. SEVEN AND A HALF POUNDS.
So I put "Bananas: 40 lbs" in my spreadsheet. And then took a deep breath. Because if they continue to eat WES'S BODY WEIGHT in bananas every month, we are in for some large grocery bills.
Ryan went to the store that night for some odds and ends (which always includes bananas and milk, the other money pit in this house) and came home laden with almost eight pounds of bananas.
He walked into the door, chest puffed out, and declared "I'd like to see those freaks eat all of THESE in two days."
We had a good laugh. But guess what. That was two days ago. After breakfast, we had THREE BANANAS LEFT.
So I started watching more closely. And sure enough, when we came back from the playground Saturday afternoon, Charlie went in first. Before I could put down my purse and unbutton my coat, Charlie had helped himself to a banana, peeled it, eaten it in about three bites, and left the peel on the couch. Special. Then James had one after dinner because I felt like a one-year-old should probably have something in addition to just pizza for dinner. And this morning I awoke to the sound of noisy chewing at my bedside. Charlie and Wes were standing there in their jammies, looking to eat breakfast in bed. Charlie held the remainder of the bunch in his other hand, like he was carrying the rest of the six-pack over to the neighbor's to watch the game.
So tonight I bought eight and a half MORE POUNDS OF BANANAS at the store. Even at $0.48 a pound, this is getting out of hand. I might have to keep them up high where we currently store the medicine. I've never seen them go after Ibuprofen with such enthusiasm.