Tuesday, August 16, 2011

James's World



You guys, I live with a Roomba. He never stops moving and is constantly sucking up things you don't want him to. He has identified the boys' best crumb-scattering ground, the shelf where the crayons are, and the source of all the small pieces of plastic by some heretofore unknown sixth sense. And because he is the third kid, and the first two kids need immediate access to the bathroom at all times, he has unrestricted access to the whole first floor (and God help me when he figures out the stairs).

I think the cute little baby-potato stage is over (I mean, the cute part's not over, what's not cute about finding an infant with a forest green Crayola hanging out of his mouth like a Lucky Strike when you come back from spending thirty seconds in the bathroom?). Next you're going to tell me they don't take three naps forever either.

The boys know to keep toys with small pieces in the playroom. I'm thinking some kind of retinal scan access system is in order.

16 comments:

Sarah said...

Roomba! Ha! Ben and I were just talking about how we are going to have to totally rethink our toy situation in seven to ten months. let me know how the small-parts storage goes.

Pete the Brit said...

Awesome!

LL said...

"You guys, I live with a Roomba." -- funniest, best thing I've heard all day, and it has been a VERY long day.

Kim said...

Too funny! I love the diagram!

Steph said...

"PORTAL TO HELL" - I couldn't agree more, and you have humidity on top of it. Ugh!

Alyssa said...

LOL! Evan has a similar homing-beacon to power cords, the cat food bowl, and anything else that could be of danger to him.

I appreciate the figure with captions - it definitely adds to the post!

Arguably Ambitious said...

Haha!!! I love this!

Nicky said...

Roombas have a very random approach to navigating rooms. Looks like James's navigation algorithm is much more intelligent. Also, making me very glad that my youngest isn't crawling yet....

Snarky Mommy said...

OMG I am dying about the map. So awesome. And Lucky Strike Crayolas -- bwahahahaha!

Danny said...

That map is one of the funniest things you've ever posted. That's some Hyperbole & A Half (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/) level stuff.

WhitMc said...

Oh my gosh, I love the map. Hilarious. I especially love the description of the bathroom.

AJU5's Mom said...

I am not looking forward to that stage... But at least he is a cute roomba!

Phoenix Rising said...

Bahahaha! Roomba. Portal to Hell. HAAAAA!!!

sarah said...

OMG, Becca, if you EVER get tired of being a scientist and professor, you could TOTALLY have a career as a writer. 'stoopid excersaucer" and "portal to hell".

I can't read your posts in public anymore b/c I'm a loud-laugher and half the time, I all but hyperventilate trying to use my "inside voice" laugh when I check your blogs in public. So now I just laugh 'til I cry in my living room and then read it out loud to my husband. :-)

Lemonpuss said...

As always, you capture it fabulously. Love this!

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