Monday, June 13, 2011

They call him "The Lawn Sprinkler"

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We used to laugh when Charlie was a baby because he spit up so much. Every single night for several months he used to hurl right over my shoulder onto the carpet as I carried him back to bed after his 4:00 feeding in EXACTLY the same crusty, black, place. His daycare teachers used to run out of spare outfits for him because he threw up so much during the day. I once took him home in only a diaper and socks because not only had he exhausted his personal supply of outfits, he had gone through all the emergency, vagrant baby clothes too (our kids have come home many times in what I call the "pajama pants of shame"--a faded pink pair of girls' pajamas with a lipstick and shopping motif that, I assume, they dress little boys in when their mothers repeatedly forget to pack extra clothes. Or I might just be paranoid.)

Anyway, James makes Charlie look like a reborn in the spitting up department.

Last night he got me four times while I was putting him to bed. Just when I'd get one spot mopped up, he'd hit me again. I felt like I was on Double Dare. I was so grossed out when I finally got to peel my saturated shirt off. And I don't get grossed out easily. I have THREE BOYS.

Today he was in the church nursery all morning so that I could work at Vacation Bible School (VBS). I got a message that he was hungry, so I ducked into nursery and fed him. When I sat him up to burp him after the first side he sprayed at least twelve cups of milk all over my leg, the chair, and the floor.

His teacher, a veteran with four kids of her own, matter-of-factly handed me a fistful of paper towels to clean up. Then I fed him the other side and handed him off.

When I came back to check on him he had "spit up" (slash projectile vomited like a Kappa Delta on Spring Break) four more times and was wearing different clothes. They weren't so matter-of-fact that time.

"I bet he's hungry again. That was a LOT of spit-up" they told me.

I nodded and picked him up.

"Like, a LOT" with wide eyes.

I gave him a cuddle and looked into his eyes. He spit up on my arm. Twice.

"OK, well maybe I should get that checked out..." I laughed, then put him back down to play so I could finish up for the day.

When I fed him at home he did a lot better, but that time a friend called on the phone and while I talked he sat propped up on the couch between sides. That seemed to help. As did the giant man-burp I got out of him after the first side. But then he spitup all over the Boppy right after I took that picture.

It doesn't seem to be phasing him. He's very happy and growing well and eats on a regular schedule, so maybe I should just take ponchos to the nursery staff tomorrow for the next performance of "Stand By Me: A One Baby Show"? Because I think they're all sitting in the splash zone.

10 comments:

Marianne said...

I don't know how you could make an entire post about spit up so funny. But it worked for me.

Daniel is a spit up machine too. We were at a baseball game yesterday and he completely saturated two outfits, his blanket, and my shirt. I'm sure there was some in my hair too, but I didn't care.

Kim said...

Zoe was a champion puker too. It can be truly amazing, the quantity. I think she's almost outgrown it, but if she gets really upset -- lookout!!

I hope James outgrows it soon. I used to carry scented baby wipes and would just rub the puke out of my clothes so I could pretend I smelled like aloe instead of puke with some aloe on the side. :)

Snarky Mommy said...

My kids rarely spit up, which is a good thing, because when they actually did I took it so personally it was weird.

I would get all pissy that they puked up all the milk I worked so hard to make and ZOMG, do they know how hard breastfeeding is and they're ungrateful! As you can see, it was a very rational time for me.

Alyssa said...

I literally LOL'd at this post, especially this part: "...projectile vomited like a Kappa Delta on Spring Break."

Nice!

Evan is a big spitter-upper too...still...at 8 months. I keep saying that I can't wait until this phase ends, but there seems to be no end in sight.

Kyla said...

The kids and I play an online game called Wizard 101, it is a turned based fantasy game where you play various cards in battle. Anyway, there is a card called "Blood Bat" and the bat vomits green goo all over your opponent. Last night, KayTar told me, "If I was a character from Wizards, I'd be a blood bat, because vomit is my super power." So you know I appreciate a post on puke...especially a funny one!

Rima said...

I had almost forgotten all about the spitup until I read this post. Almost.

Sarah said...

He is so cute! I love his little cheeks.

My kids were not spitters, but my nephew is-- he is also super good at hosing down everyone/thing but himself.

I think as long as the baby is a happy spitter, there's no problem :)

Phoenix Rising said...

Ugh. My sister's kids puked like that. Clear shots straight across the room. It was amazing to me. Not to her. She'd seen it before. Lots of times.

Lemonpuss said...

Ha! Reminds me of my dad who loudly claimed "babies don't throw up on me" as he tossed my just fed 6 mo old Grif in the air and took a direct hit in his mouth.

Is there any chance of reflux? He is so very clearly thriving. Truman stopped his shenanigans when I had his tongue tie fixed. Now he's paying me back by withholding poop.

Sarahviz said...

I have 3 boys as well. ALL of mine were spitter-uppers. Exactly like you described. Both Grandmas fussed and fretted over this fact, but each time I would take the baby into the doctor, the response was, "As long as he's gaining weight and it doesn't seem to be bothering him, then he's FINE."

Each one grew out of it around 9 months. It was a looooong 9 months though, with a lot of stained furniture and carpeting.