Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Overheard in the Big Gold Minivan

On the way to school today...

Charlie: Mama, remember the time when the bad train was going down the tracks too fast and Thomas....

We need wipes, bananas, something for dinner--what will Wes eat? Do I care today?--conditioner, milk, trash bags...

Wes: Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!

[car approaches bend in road]

Charlie: MAMA! Difficult bend! Puff with care! And you remember when the bad train was going down the tracks too fast and Thomas saved the day by...

Do I have enough cash to run through Starbucks after dropoff?

Wes: Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!

Charlie: Thomas made the bad train go on the other track because it was a bad train and it was going too fast and...

Me: Just a minute Charlie, Wes has something to say.

Wes: Mama! Mama! Wook! A square and a circle!

Me: Awesome, buddy!

How long does it take to lose fifteen pounds? A pound a week would make it, OMG NO. Better skip Starbucks. And lunch...

Charlie: And the bad train went on the other track and the station was SAVED!

Wes: Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!

Charlie: Mama, you're going too fast, PUFF WITH CARE!"

Wes: Mama! Fat and thin!! [I remember that he's reading an opposites book]

Me: Wow, Wes, fantastic! Who's looking forward to chapel today!

Charlie: Me!! I like the part when the [unintelligable], RIGHT MOM?

Me: Um, tell me again, buddy?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10

Wes: Mama mama mama mama MAAAMAAA!

Charlie [more quietly this time]: I like the part? Of chapel? When Pastor Jennifer? Tells us [unintelligable].

Me: Ohhh, OK.

Wes: I wike da part wit da ba ba boo ba da goo dee fuh!!!

Me: OKEY DOKEY!

Five more minutes, five more minutes, five more minutes

Charlie: Miss Lisa told me "We don't dump out all the toys" and then I hadda go sit in da [unintelligable]. That made me sad.

Wes: WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO! I a police car!

Me: What? Did you go to time out at school? What happened?

Mother of God, what the hell am I going to do this summer?!

Charlie: I had to go [unintelligable] because I [unintelligable]. My friend Chris won't share. I ALWAYS share.

Note to self: Apologize to Chris's mother next time we see each other

Wes: WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO! I a firetruck!

Me: OK WE'RE HERE EVERYBODYOUTOFTHECAR RIGHT NOW.

10 comments:

Katie said...

HA! Sounds like our car! It's going to be a long summer.

Kim said...

Sounds like my car too, although I think we've reached the upper limit in terms of volume and words per minute. Just wait until James chimes in!! :)

Chiconky said...

Awesome. I have the exact same soundtrack in my car, except Syd's not talking so much as babbling and/or screaming.

WNWLitigator said...

I love this post. I think every mom can relate and it captures the hilarity of the situation so well!

Sarah said...

OMG. Yes. That's what it sounds like here, too.

sarah said...

Hahaha! I am reminded to be grateful that I've only got to contend with one rambling voice from the back seat every morning! That is hilarious! It won't be long before James is adding his own narration to the mix....

Lemonpuss said...

Somehow reading it is much worse regan living it. Add the background sound of a baby preparing to cry and you've got it.

And my brain just came our of my ears.

I know why my parents were so bloody excited to buy us all Walkmen in 1980, giant though they were.Quiet car is priceless.

Shannon said...

It was hard for me to focus on your story because I know those two Thomas episodes so well that my brain was picturing them. Perhaps we all need to watch less Thomas...

Phoenix Rising said...

Ah, the cacophony of children's voices in an enclosed space... Sometimes, when I get in the car alone, I think, "I have no idea how do navigate this vehicle." Because everything is so autopilot/survival mode when they're in the car...

Attorney At Large said...

Puff with care! That is *awesome.*