Friday, May 20, 2011

I might need one of those annoying "Making Baby Food" signs

A couple of months ago I was pumping in my office when there was a knock at the door. You've never seen anybody move so fast. I got everything shoved out of sight and my shirt put back together in about ten nano-seconds, then opened my door, a little out of breath and disheveled, to find another professor, we'll call him Co-PI, standing there looking bewildered. He peered around me into the office as he asked if my officemate was in today. She wasn't so he thanked me and left, looking awfully curious about what he had interrupted.

Today I became so absorbed in what I was doing that I forgot to pump until well after I was supposed to meet with my Co-PI to talk about our proposal (that is due on WEDNESDAY, Hold me!) and more than an hour past the time James would have eaten.

Figuring I would just pump after the meeting, I kept trying to finish my revisions. But then I remembered the whole leaking possibility and what if he wanted to go to lunch and I saw a baby at the restaurant and had to spend the rest of the meal pretending to be one of those paranoid old women who clutches her purse to her chest all the time. How embarrassing would THAT be? Plus my originally conservative shirt was getting kind of inappropriate and things were getting uncomfortable.

Figuring I would just ask to move our meeting back thirty minutes, I walked down the hall and discovered that Co-PI was not in his lab. Hurray! He has forgotten! I am saved!

I put my cheery little "Just a minute, please!" note on the door and hooked myself up to the milking machine.

WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A

I went hands-free and continued to work through my revisions.

WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A

Wow, I waited WAY too long, this is taking forever...

WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A

Drumming fingers on desk...

WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A

Twenty minutes seemed like a more than reasonable amount of time, so I hastily stored the milk and shoved the pump under my desk. There was no one in the hall when I opened my door so I figured I was home free. Hurray!

Fifteen seconds later Co-PI appears in my doorway.

"Hi, so I saw the note on your door and that is fiiiiinnnnneeee"

OMG.

WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A WOMP-A

(!!!)

OMG.

And then he came around my desk (which is cleverly arranged so that I can hide things like BREAST PUMPS from general view) to use the phone and had to STEP OVER the mysterious be-tubed contraption on the floor that I couldn't move quickly because it was still plugged in!

I really hope he thinks I am using drugs in my office.

5 comments:

Sarah said...

LOL-- do they really make signs that say that? That's going to be me next year. Can't wait.

Nicky said...

I printed out a picture of a cow with the single word "Mooo" underneath it and hung it on the door. Worked like a charm.

Jenny said...

Is there a reason you can't tell people you're pumping? Everyone knows you just had a baby, right? Does your workplace find that unprofessional? Eeek!

Amanda said...

I did the same as @Nicky. I worked with only women (welcome to Early Childhood Special Education) so pretty much everyone was understanding. I just threw the cute cow picture on the door and WOMP A WOMPED away.

Kyla said...

Hahahaha!