Friday, April 1, 2011

Bitch, interrupted

I was in line today at an outdoor hamburger restaurant, Wes and Charlie standing nicely by my sides, James in the carrier, when a woman in front of me turned around to face me. Mouth slightly ajar she looked from Charlie to me to Wes and then back to James and said "THREE boys?!"

"Yup!" I said proudly.

Then she made a noise of disgust. Like UGH, but more guttural.

I stood there, wide eyed. What the hell, lady!

She explained "I have two and I'm losing my MIND! I can't imagine."

It was not a tone of admiration.

I did not like this woman. I did not like this woman at all.

First of all her two year old would not stop darting around the sidewalk back and forth, back and forth, getting dangerously close to the parking lot and it was making me really nervous. And second, she had just insulted MY FAMILY, right in front of MY KIDS who understand every single thing anyone around them says. I should know, Charlie sings along with Pink "Don't get fancy, just get dancy!" Which is hilarious, but not grandparent-appropriate.

How could I simultaneously and politely reassure my kids and tell Ms. Busybody to shut her yapper?

I smiled and said "Oh, but they are such good boys!" then gave them each a squeeze on the shoulder.

I was still smiling as she wordlessly turned around to order her lunch.

(She does not need to know that Charlie lost the privilege of talking in the car on our way home.)

14 comments:

lonek8 said...

Lovely response. However, you should have followed it up with a comment to your children, explaining how they should never be rude to strangers like that lady was.

I for one would be more likely to say something like "maybe if you spent less time being a bitch and more time paying attention to your children, they'd be less inclined to play in traffic." and then maybe kick her in the shin.

Sheryl said...

People like that drive ME crazy. Personally, I would love for another boy! Actually, I would just love a HEALTHY baby.

Marianne said...

Okay... I admit that I say things like that, and it's totally out of admiration... but also out of the realization that my 3 year old is insane and I can't imagine it times three. I, honestly, assume that most people are better moms than I am.

Amy said...

LOVE the losing the talking privilege!

People are assholes. Pure and simple.

A. said...

Wow, not cool! I think you handled it wonderfully.

Kyla said...

I guess some people are more stressed by parenthood thancothers, and they strike up those kind of conversations to seek out commiseration. Smetimes, though, they bark up the wrong tree and stick their foot in their mouth!

You definitely handled it well.

Another Sewing Scientist said...

One of my friends has an autistic son and another has two adopted children. Neither one can go out in public without lots of "helpful" advice and comments, right in front of the kids. Do people think children are oblivious, or what? *eye rolling*

Candy said...

This type of snide comment will probably be made again in your familys hearing...maybe it'd be a good time to figure out your perfect comeback so you are ready for the next lady in the hamburger line. People are pretty dumb and don't listen to what comes out of their mouths I find! Your boys will outshine her boys, she isn't doing them any favors by letting them run around like that. sorry, rant over.

Anonymous said...

We have seven..... yes, seven. Five boys, two girls. I love it when we are out...because there must be a sign somewhere posted that invites people to voice their opinions about our “unusual” family. We of course get; “Are they all yours?” No, we collect them on the way to dinner, we think of it as community service. “Are you done?” Not sure, but thanks for being concerned with our sex life…. Seems to be going well for us so far. And my favorite…. “Glad it is you and not me.” And for this one…. Even the kids respond, “US TOO!” People need to get a grip … and you handled it beautifully!

Rima said...

It amazes me how often people talk about kids right in front of them, as if they're not even there. I think we know why this person "can barely handle two."

P.S. Awesome post title :)

ScientistMother said...

I don't think the lady meant anything against you or your boys as she explained, she is finding it challenging with her two boys. My own little monkey is so active, that trying to get him to stand in a line quietly is HARD. I know if #2 is as active as #1 I'm screwed. He's not a bad kid, actually quite good. But he is always moving, is "on" or sleeping. There is no in between. Cut her a break.

AJU5's Mom said...

My guess is she was trying to vent (kind of like the last poster said). I don't think she was trying to "dog" on you or your boys. It might have also been a little awe and "wishing" on her part that she could have what you have one day...

Sarah said...

Ridiculous. I get similar responses when I tell people I am pregnant. I'm not a Duggar! Yet.

sarah said...

yeeeesh, why do people feel the need to spread their gloom and dissatisfaction around like that?

I am dying to know what Charlie did to lose the privilege of talking in the car on the way home! LOL