Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

As in, I am afraid I will be spending Christmas confined to the hospital with a bunch of grouchy nurses and support personnel. Because progressing from a fingertip to ONE FARKING CENTIMETER in TWO WEEKS is NOT GOING TO CUT IT.

The NP tried to make a joke out of it and suggested I carry Charlie around the block a few times, sort of implying that my recent frenzy of baseboard cleaning, mopping, and stairs vacuuming wasn't enough to move things along. I did not laugh. I thought about all the mean things I wanted to say. And then I planned my fifteen dollar Starbuck's drive-thru order as I lay helplessly on my back like a turtle trapped beneath a fifteen pound baby and waited for her to help me sit up so I could take a deep breath.

And then I put my clothes back on and called Ryan so I could spread the warmth and cheer of the holiday season with someone legally bound by God and the State of Texas to love me until I die. When I told him through gritted teeth about my "progress" he said "but I brought my camera to work today, just in case!" Then he suggested I go get something special to eat on the way to work. He gets me.

We're supposed to talk about "our" options at my next appointment, which is on Wednesday. The only options I want to be talking about on Wednesday involve which chair IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM is the most comfortable for nursing. And what kind of wine would I like with dinner.

16 comments:

Kim said...

Oh, Becca! I hope things happen soon!! I laughed out loud at your description of Ryan -- bound by God and Texas to love you, ha ha!!

Let's go Taco!!

Danny said...

I'm going to suggest something that is in no way my place to suggest, only because it has worked positive results for me and Courtney in the past. Perhaps you and Ryan could "spread some holiday cheer?" "Stuff the stockings?" "Send Santa up the chimney?" I'm running out of holiday-related euphemisms...

AJU5's Mom said...

Don't stress too much. I was 1cm with Abigail, then 3cm the next week and went into labor that night. It could still happen. Hopefully by the 21st your lo will be ready to exit so you can be home for Christmas!

Leslie said...

these last weeks and days are the hardest, but it's only the 9th- you'll get there before Christmas, I'm sure of it! In the words of Tom Petty "The waitin' is the hardest part"

We're planning a day or two trip down between Christmas and New Year's. If you're up for visitors, we'd love to meet the newest edition.

Sarah said...

Okay, this is starting to sound remarkably like the end of my pregnancy with Jack, so let me give you the advice I wish someone would have given me: IF YOU PEE YOUR PANTS, DO NOT GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

Also, Danny-- stuff the stockings killed me-- what a hilariously terrible euphemism.

Hanah said...

Given the timing, perhaps you should consider giving birth at a Jewish hospital. Hanukkah ended yesterday!

lonek8 said...

oh, this is the WORST part!!! I know exactly how you feel and I will be sending you wishes of labor pains every night!

also, the fact that I am totally jealous of you right now indicates a disturbing new level of baby fever that I am ill prepared to deal with.

ps: no having the baby dec 20th. that's MY day (LOL)

Anonymous said...

When is your due date? I got induced the day after and my dr was even willing to do it as early as 39 weeks. I know some people are opposed to an induction if it's not absolutely necessary but it's something to consider.

Anonymous said...

I was 1 cm when my water broke with J...so there's hope! And I stayed that way until I got my epidural, so there's data you could use to back up your "can I just have the epidural now" argument :) --abby

BiblioMOMia said...

I was closed up tight as a drum on my appointment on Friday, went into labor that night. Was still "unproductive" when I went into the hospital that morning at 6 am--which is funny, because my water broke 2 hours later (after they sent me home with "false" contractions--HA!!!).

Maybe you're like me. My doc likened my labor to "a baby on a rollarcoaster," since I dilated so fast!

BiblioMOMia said...

I was closed up tight as a drum on my appointment on Friday, went into labor that night. Was still "unproductive" when I went into the hospital that morning at 6 am--which is funny, because my water broke 2 hours later (after they sent me home with "false" contractions--HA!!!).

Maybe you're like me. My doc likened my labor to "a baby on a rollarcoaster," since I dilated so fast!

Alyssa said...

Sending lots of go-into-labor vibes!

Nora said...

I'm hoping that you don't read this for a couple days due to being in labor! Best of luck.

My plans to savor each moment of this, my last pregnancy, are weakening.

Marianne said...

Oh, Becca! I'm thinking of you and praying for you. At how many weeks were Charlie and Wes born?

I'm thinking of you and hope everything goes well.

sarah said...

"Send Santa up the chimney" is the most hilarious euphemism I've heard for that EVER.

Sending you quick and easy (and soon!) labor vibes!

Kyla said...

When are you due?

I never moved a bit (except for the panic inducing preterm effacing I did with KayTar at 22 weeks) until I was in active labor...and both of mine came out eventually! 5 days late, both...but they did come out!

PS: I am CRACKING UP at Danny's comment. Hilarious.