Friday, October 15, 2010


I thought this was a temporary matter of fetal positioning, but I haven't been able to bend at the waist in over a week. It all started after I hurt my toe and had to sit there in the exam room staring at my toes as I waited for the doctor. They all looked awful, not just the swollen purple one. After that I tried to do a DIY pedicure sitting on my bed and nearly blacked out.

I look like P-Diddy if I try to sit in a chair. You know, that weird man-sit thing where your body is completely straight with only your butt perched on the side of the couch cushion? That's me. I should start wearing some gold chains and changing my name every year or so. It would be a great look with the UPS truck I'm going to have to buy so I can drive standing up.

The biggest problem is that putting the kids' shoes on is nearly impossible. I tuck Wes into his bed at naptime under the covers with his shoes still on. This morning I made already-late Ryan put the kids' shoes on before he left because I was afraid I'd rupture the blood vessels in my eyes from the effort. I've scared Charlie so thoroughly that now FINALLY asks me before taking his shoes off. This from a kid I once had to make walk barefoot across the parking lot to the pediatrician's office because I was so sick of him taking his shoes off every single time we got in the car and I had to make a point SOMEHOW.

And do you have any idea how much crap little kids leave all over the floor? THAT I CAN'T SEE? Four or five times a day I shuffle around the kitchen and kick all the toys I can feel towards the door to the living room.

I know I was this uncomfortable during the other two pregnancies. I just don't remember it happening at THIRTY WEEKS. I honestly don't know how I'm going to last another ten weeks grunting and swearing every time I drop something or have to get up and down from the floor (who wants to play at the kitchen table, kids? No one?).

It just occurred to me that Taco isn't trying to snap my lower right rib off like a dry twig like the other two did, so maybe this is the price I have to pay for that small concession. All I know is that I can't cross my legs, even ankle to knee, I can't bend over, and I'm going to be in the market for a gently used UPS truck before long. Is it too much to ask that the doctor had my dates wrong by a month?


Amy said...

I am soooo sorry. Perhaps a prenatal massage is in order? I also hear (and I am quite serious) a glass of red wine can help your body relax a little and loosen the muscles. My doc suggested it to calm contractions, so it's OB-approved!

Unknown said...

I know the bending over thing only too well! I had to replace it with a deep squat anytime I needed anything below my waistline. Seriously, it was the only way I could comfortably get to the floor! As for clipping the nails, I think it's a worthy investment to get your toenails clipped/painted at a salon or go so a podiatrist if they're really causing probs. I did and was so glad afterwards. :) You are already 30 weeks..can't believe it! Hang in there! Jenny

Alyssa said...

I definitely think you deserve a pedicure (and that glass of red wine Amy mentioned)! Hopefully Taco will move down a bit soon and make it a little easier on you. Sometimes I feel like Baby G is in my chest. Just sitting upright is difficult - standing is best, but then my back starts to hurt. Gah.

Hang in there!

Dr. Maureen said...

Yikes! That sounds terrible! But I have an encouraging theory: I think Taco is just stretched out weirdly right now, but he will reposition himself soon and you will once again be able to bend at the waist. I swear that Nora spent one night squishing my gall bladder which made me throw up for about three hours, but then she moved. And I had a day or two of her feet in my throat also, but then she moved! So I think he'll move.

sarah said...

oh that sounds awful!! I hope Taco moves soon and you get some relief. But from now on, when I see a UPS truck, I'll check for you in the driver's seat.

Kyla said...

After seeing all those SQUEE!NEW!BABIES! at the pediatrician's office/in the nursery yesterday, this is a good reminder of why I don't want another of my own. ;)

Hang in there...maybe Taco will wiggle around into a new position soon!

lonek8 said...

ugh, this sounds awful! I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time bending - definitely not easy to deal with when you have other little kids! During my last pregnancy I could bend over okay, but if I did I would almost throw up. It was like gravity took over and the food would just start to fall out. Super pleasant. my response was to stop cleaning up the toys every night and instead just kick a path clear for wherever I might want to walk. Hope it gets better soon!

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I think your OB/GYN should definitely prescribe a pedicure and maid-service IMMEDIATELY! And maybe a warm-bubble bath, good book, nice candles and a night off! :)

Rima said...

Oh, that sucks. That just really sucks. But I heard that third babies often do come early. Here's hoping!

P.S. The image of you driving a UPS truck standing up at seven months pregnant made me laugh out loud!