So. Bedtime? Is not going well.
Twenty-two times putting Wes back in the bed now seems like a quaint little memory. The two nights he went down with no fuss at all were a total fluke. The nap he took today when our babysitter was here? MIND GAMES.
We've chosen the SuperNanny plan for sleep training. The plan is that you wordlessly and with as little fuss as possible, put the kid back in bed, as many times as it takes, until he gives up and goes to sleep. On the show they usually put the kid back like a hundred and fifty times the first night, forty-six times the second night, and then on the third night the kid stands up from the couch, clicks off the Daily Show, says goodnight to the family, then walks up to his room, brushes his teeth, puts on his pajamas, and climbs quietly into bed. SupperNanny wins again! Roll the credits.
It is is Day 6 and we are not having the same experience. Tonight, while I was enjoying a delicious Italian dinner with the other church ladies, picturing the sweet, sleeping babies I was going to kiss goodnight when I got home, Ryan was engaged in The Battle of the Bed, 6.0. It ended with Charlie in our bed, Ryan meeting me in the driveway looking like he had just run a marathon, a marathon where people yell at you while you are running, and Wes having a panic attack in his bed (after I took over so Ryan could regroup). Horrible choking sobs. It was miserable. I wrapped him up in a blanket and held him tightly to my chest. He was asleep in less than a minute.
I think we missed "the window" tonight. That narrow sliver of time in which a child is sleepy enough to sleep but not so sleepy that the adrenaline has kicked in and turned him into a jittery psychopath capable of resisting even the most reasonable request. Like "GET IN YOUR BED AND STAY THERE! A NEW NETFLIX CAME TODAY!!"
SuperNanny has clearly never encountered a kid as strong-willed as Wes. I fully expect him to move a salt shaker across the table one day using only the power of his mind. And then I will probably absentmindedly sprinkle some in my coffee because children who don't get enough rest are REALLY FREAKING CRABBY. And I'm starting to lose it a little.