Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Again with the awesome wife business

Man, the "for worse" part is really being tested this week!

First it was hallucinating sleeping seven hours late in the middle of the night two nights ago and today it was an angry phone call about missing keys five minutes after he walked into his lab. And then a probably exasperating walk back to the car in the rain and then getting almost all the way home with the extra key before another, very sheepish phone call alerting him that I had found the wayward keys. And that they were in my purse.

It all started after I got both kids buckled into their seats in the car in the garage all bundled up and ready for school (Charlie's school. No matter how badly he and I both want him to go to school with Charlie they won't let Wes go until next year). I dashed back into the kitchen to grab my purse and reached inside to get my keys all the while musing whether I felt more like a breakfast taco or a latte and donut for my midmorning snack. But the keys were nowhere to be found.

I looked again. I took everything out. I searched the kitchen counter, the only other place I ever put them when I come inside because it is out of reach of the children. No keys.

I turned my purse upside down and shook it. Nothing.

Remembering that I had seen my recyclable grocery bag, which is usually in my purse, on the floor of the laundry room, I surmised that some little hands had been messing around with my purse, which is a BIG NO NO. Now I was getting really annoyed.

I got on hands and knees and searched the whole laundry room, under the washer and dryer, IN THE BAG OF freaking DOG FOOD all the while making quite the angry spectacle of myself. Nothing.

I went to the car and asked in a less than patient, not at all nurturing voice if anyone had any idea where my keys might be. "Grandpa has them" said Charlie. "Why on earth would Grandpa take my keys???" I asked. He had no answer.

I called Ryan to ask if he had noticed them someplace weird in the house. He somehow managed to detect that I was angry and getting a little frantic at the prospect of losing another day of preschool (i.e. screwing around time for ME) this week. He asked if I had taken everything out of my bag. I HAD! I SHOOK IT OUT! NO KEYS! I wailed. He suggested he come home and bring me his set of keys. No no no, I said. Not necessary, I bleated out, not meaning it at all. He said he was on his way.

I crawled all over the living room floor feeling under couches and chairs. Found Thomas the Tank Engine, which has been missing for a week, a small victory, but no keys.

Finally, after I had searched the entire living room, laundry room, toy room, TV cabinet, dog food bag, under all appliances in the kitchen, I decided to look in my purse one more time.

I angrily jammed my hand inside and was feeling around when my hand slammed up against something hard and my car beeped at me from the garage.

Oh shit. OH SHIT!

They were in the side pocket. I didn't even know my purse HAD a side pocket. It is apparently a very secure side pocket as it somehow managed to hold my keys hostage despite a vigorous upside down shaking.

I called Ryan and explained that I had, uh, found my keys, in my purse. Heh heh heh. See you tonight! Love ya!

I took him a dozen donuts after I dropped Charlie off.


AJU5's Mom said...

I called my husband once thinking i had locked my keys in the car. I had looked through my bag 3 times and couldn't find them. SO, he left work early to come "rescue" us. We searched my car trying to find them. Then he emptied my bad again and found them. So, don't feel too bad! I think most moms have lost the keys only to find them where they thought they were all along!

Sarah said...

Hahahahahaha-- especially the part where you said no but meant yes-- I do this allllll the time.

Bonus that your purse pocket is so secure :)

Rima said...

One time I was convinced I'd locked my keys inside my parked car. I found them in my purse exactly one minute after the cops pried my window open for me. (I should have bought that cop a box of donuts!)

Kyla said...

I'm notorious for misplacing my keys. I can think of one or two occasions that Josh had to leave work to pick BubTar up from school because I couldn't find my keys and couldn't get there.

Alyssa said...

LOL! Love this! Something similar happened to me last night. DH went to the gym, and I wanted to go swimming. I need an access card to get in, and it wasn't on the front counter where it always is. I searched around, in my purse, in my workout bag, in drawers - nothing! I was getting so pissed off, and I was sure DH put it away somewhere when he was cleaning up on the weekend.

An hour later, after DH got home, I asked him if he has seen it, and he said no. Then I basically blamed it on him that it's missing and it'll cost $20 to replace it. Then I put on my sweatshirt (which I wore the last time I was at the pool) - of course the card was in the pocket! LOL

Definitely a sheepish apology after that!

Bonnie Y said...

I forgot the flashdrive with the Powerpoint for 2 lessons that I was being observed on last week. So I called my dear hubby and got him out of bed, explained how to get to my school (which is 45 minutes from home) and he brought them, dear soul!
Hubbies can be fantastic creatures sometimes!