Monday, December 28, 2009

Bree Van de Kamp I am not

Sometimes I swear I have Tourette's.

Tonight I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a nurse who was wearing scrubs and an ID from a nearby hospital. I was only buying a box of wipes and she had a few days of groceries so she asked if I wanted to go ahead of her. "No thanks," I said, "I'm happy to be out of the house for a few minutes and it looks like you're on your way home from work." She smiled and gestured at the wipes "Mine are fourteen and nineteen. It goes fast! How old is yours?"

"I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old."

"Oh, where did you deliver your one-year-old?"

I gave her the name of the hospital, a place I privately refer to as the Guantanamo of childbirth. A place I hated with every fiber of my being to the degree that I told Ryan if we ever had another baby I would be moving to The Old Town during the last trimester so I could deliver there.

"OH! That's where I work! And I'm in Mother-and-Baby! How was your experience?"

She beamed at me expectantly.

I froze as a filmstrip of Wes's first two days played in my mind. Getting woken up three times a night BY NURSES, usually when Wes was FINALLY asleep. Being forced to keep him in the room all the time because there was no nursery. The nurse taking Wes out for his PKU at eleven o'clock at night, fifteen minutes after we finally got him to sleep, then bringing him back inconsolable twenty minutes later. Ryan getting reprimanded for carrying Wes around out in the hall so I could get some rest. The nurse bursting into the room at midnight and turning all the lights on to get my blood pressure. The giant hassle they gave me about giving Wes a pacifier after nursing him for more than an hour. The nurse who pushed Ryan out of the way because she didn't like something about the way he was changing Wes's diaper.

So what did I say? Did I smile and say "great!" like a normal person making polite chit chat with a total stranger in line at the grocery store at eight o'clock at night would? Of course not. Because I am socially awkward.

I gave her the best smile I could muster and said "I think it only bad because my baby was such a difficult newborn." Then laughed nervously and busied myself with my wallet.

She was less friendly after that.


Meika said...

You know... this seems like a good truth to tell. It's a little different than announcing to a stranger that you think they're terribly unattractive or something. Your experience sounds just awful and for all you know, she's the one who did the midnight PKU. And really... she did ask. Awkward, yes, but I think also entirely appropriate.

But then, I'm no Bree Van de Kamp myself. :)

Kim said...

Yikes! Your experience with Wes sounds worse than the one I had when Zoe was born, and I thought that was bad!

I am sure I would have said something similar in this situation as well.

It sure looks like you and your family have had a wonderful Christmas! Happy Holidays!!

Kyla said...

I think I might have told her...I mean SHE wasn't your nurse so it wasn't personal, but maybe it would help her provide better care for patients there in the future.

AJU5's Mom said...

I think the nurses make or break the situation. AJU5 and AJU6 were born at the same hospital. With AJU6, I had excellent nurses, but with AJU5 my night nurses were terrible. So, now if someone asks me, I can share teh good and bad :)

Sarah said...

That sounds like my hospital experiences, but I LIKED them. Am I weird or what??

(except the LCs who always came into my room at the most awful and hormonal times)

apathy lounge said...

You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!--Jack Nicholson

Staci said...

Becca, you rock! I could totally see myself responding the same way! And she did ask. If you don't want to know, you shouldn't ask.