Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Wait, I think I made a mistake

1. Enter a "1" if you are single or if you are married and no one claims you as a dependent: 1

2. Enter a "1" if you are a married head of household: 0

3. Enter 1 for each dependent child living with you if your total household income is greater than $20,000. Enter 2 for each dependent child living with you if your household income is less than $20,000: 2

4. If your household income is greater than $50,000 AND less than $50,000, enter a 5: ?

5. Enter the number from Table 2, Column B associated with the income range of the primary earner (found in Table 2, Column A): 3

6. Enter the number from Table 3, Column B associated with the income range of the secondary earner (found in Table 3, Column B): 1

7. If Page 2, Line 5 is less than Page 2, Line 6, skip this section and proceed to Line 15. If Page 2, Line 6 is greater than Page 2, Line 5, enter a 2: Uhhhh

8. Multiply the number in Line 7 by the number of dependent children, then divide by the boiling point of water at sea level (in Kelvin), then think of a number between one and ten: 8?

9. If a train leaves Cleveland headed eastbound at 60 mph and another train leaves New York headed westbound at 30 mph on the same track, write where they meet on line nine: Scranton-ish?


It goes on like that for several more pages. My witholding category comes to √15π. I'm going to let HR figure that one out.

6 comments:

bonbayel said...

But isn't it great you soon will have something to withhold from!

AJU5's Mom said...

I hate filling out those forms. I never know if i have filled them out correctly or not. You would think they could make them easier!

Sarah said...

For real. I suck at those and always have too much withheld. But I don;t feel so bad if you, A PHYSICS PROFESSOR, can't figure it out :)

Sarah said...

also using a ; instead of a ' is just something we do in the humanities*

*not true at all

Kyla said...

What is the thing you put to have them withhold the most? That's what I do, because then you just enter 1 number and get a big check back at the end of the year.

sarah said...

this post makes me twitch a little bit. :-)