Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Shredded (Cheese)

The other day I complained to Ryan that I am not able to get enough exercise what with the gym and it's already-paid-for childcare being a whole half-mile away from our house. One thing led to another and now we have decided to do the 30 Day Shred together.

He said he wants to get more exercise too. I think he would agree to eat a bowl of mercury if it meant he could watch Jillian Michaels hopping around in a jog bra for twenty minutes.

We started on Monday. Ryan snarked his way through the warm-up, but was NOT SO CHIRPY somewhere around the third circuit when we were jumping rope and Jillian said "I want you FLOATING in the AIR! You are STRONG!" And by 'not so chirpy' I mean swearing and threatening to throw the can of chick peas he was using as a hand weight through the TV screen. Having done the video a number of times before (like five since I bought it in February), I was prepared to FLOAT and BE STRONG. If only to spite Ryan.

Yesterday morning, however, Ryan got the last laugh. He teased me as I used my hands to lift my legs out of bed one at a time then braced my upper body on the ironing board until the searing pain in my ass had subsided enough that I could hobble to the bathroom, use our remote control to push my pants down, and then freefall backwards onto the toilet.

So when Ryan suggested we do the Shred last night, which would have been Day 2 if you are keeping track, I suggested he better step aside because he was blocking Nova and I would hate to have to wave my badly atrophied arms at him. And bring me another cup of eggnog while you're up.

Then today my doctor (Dr. Google) told me that if I wanted to start sleeping better perhaps I should make some lifestyle changes like more exercise or less caffeine. I chose option A.

So we did the Shred again today. And I probably did about half the strength moves and spent much of the cardio time trying to jump into a position where I could see a clock so as to not miss the gory opening scene of Law and Order. Mr. Perfect did the whole thing, but you know what? I'm not going to help him to the bathroom tomorrow morning.


Steph said...

Husband and I have been doing "Body Sculpting" together at the Rec Center, and you just described the Saturday morning after every Thursday evening session we've ever done. There was one week during which I literally could not straighten my left leg for three days. No pain, no gain, right?

Best of luck in your endeavors!

sarah said...

oh hell, I would eat a bowl of mercury to AVOID Jillian Michaels. Not sure if I blogged about it or not, but I nicknamed her the Pain Whore when I did the 30-Day Shred (for 8 days). I remember the pain like it was yesterday.

Sarah said...

Dude, the 30 day shred sucks. I mean, it's a good workout, but holy hell, the pain. I work out 5 days a week and have for 3 years, so I thought eh, the shred will be NO PROBLEM, and I secretly mocked all the people who complained of pain from it. And then came day 3. zOMG.

Rima said...

I cannot work out with my husband because I'll fall down laughing. Once I made him do my Pilates workout with me and I couldn't even get through the first five minutes. So you and Ryan doing the Thirty Day Shred together? Very commendable!

AJU5's Mom said...

My husband is doing the P90X - well, sort of. He has done half a workout in the last week. Luckily I have an excuse to not participate, or else I would be DEAD!

Good luck!

Staci said...

OMG that is funny! I've had the Shred for several months and have never managed to do it more than once every 4 days. It is sooooo deceptive! I had no problem at all doing the workout. But the morning after and the morning after that and the morning after that were debilitating. Pain Whore indeed!