Sunday, November 8, 2009

Now I'm hungry for eggs

I've spent the afternoon attempting to condense a chunk of my 166 page dissertation into a technical paper. It's a little disheartening watching multiple pages of hard work collapse down into a succinct three-sentence paragraph, but at this point in my career if I want to get anything read it's got to be short and snappy. Here's what I'm talking about (and my dissertation was not about omelettes!).

Dissertation writing:

An omelette was made based on the work of Davis (1997). The eggs for the omelette were Grade A organic eggs, size Large, purchased from the Whole Foods grocery store. The egg size "Large" was chosen based on the work of Smith (2002). Also based on the study conducted by Smith, sharp cheddar cheese was selected. Table 2 lists the various brands of cheddar cheese available. Ultimately the Kraft Fancy Shredded Cheddar Cheese was chosen, both due to it's low cost and its similarity in consistency to the cheese used in the Smith omelette. Although the Davis study omelette featured green onions, a more appropriate choice for the region in which this study was conducted was cilantro. Furthermore, Roma tomatoes were chosen, rather than Beefstake, due to regional and seasonal availability (Parker, 1974). Schmidt (2007) compared the relative merits of Roma and Beefstake tomatoes and found negligible difference between the two.

The omelette was cooked in a medium-sized, Calphanon non-stick frying pan purchased at Target over a gas burner on a Kenmore 5600 series gas range. The temperature of the burner was calibrated as in Miller (2008). Historically, toast has been served as a side to the omelet (Davis, 2006, Edwards, 2004, Dean et al. 2002, Howell and Chu, 1998), however more recent work by Quinn (1999) has shown rice to be a reasonable alternative when toast is not available.

Paper Writing:

The authors cooked an omelette and served it with a side of rice.

16 comments:

Andrea said...

Ha!
Hahahahahahahaha!

You might be glad to hear that I recently spoke with Schmidt at the annual meeting for the Bureau for the Optimal Ordering of Breakfast B*OOB) and he said that his latest results actually support the use of Roma tomatoes over Beefsteak, based on a Chi-Square Test of Means for flavor-based preference. So you are in the clear.

Hanah said...

Love it! I read this out loud to my husband, who has a PhD in Economics, and he loved it too.

Nicole S. said...

SOOOOO true. I just received my dissertation bound copy in the mail a couple of weeks ago, and I can't seem to make myself edit it as painfully as you are right now!

Alyssa said...

Ha! Awesome!

Chiconky said...

Awesome. Just awesome. I'm in the process of trying to get my diss. published and this perfectly summed up my experience. Love it!

Sarah said...

LOL. I wish my dissertation were about omelets.

sarah said...

so awesome! I love this post!

Anonymous said...

Looks like you are on your way to having a second Ph.D., from cooking school. You know there are places you can get an advanced degree in Food Science.

lissa said...

awesome post...
Dissertation Writing

Ruben said...

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Allie Patrick said...

It is very difficult to convert a dissertation into a paper. While a dissertation goes into the depth of an issue, a paper takes a completely different route. To condense the in depth information present in a dissertation to paper is a very tough and time consuming job, but some of the get homework online help you with it.

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