Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Computer WOE

The other day I was sitting in the coffeeshop, enjoying my Earl Grey Pot for ONE and a nice croissant while I worked on the presentation I will be making to the grad student seminar at Big Scary University on Wednesday. I worked through each of my slides, reviewing the material, making notes, sipping tea, eating croissant, checking the Huffington Post, reading blogs, double checking my references, fixing my figures, and checking Craigslist for things I don't need. It was delightfully relaxing.

Then I bumped the table with my knee and my computer TURNED THE HECK OFF ALL BY ITSELF.

Oh no.

Ohhhhh nooooooo.

I checked the connections in the power cord and jiggled the wire and pushed the power button, holding my breath. It started back up.

But it takes approximately forty-seven minutes to finish starting up because something is really wrong with it, but I haven't had the nerve to fix it since it started doing this in January-ish because of The Dissertation and the Not Wanting to Lose Everything.

Fortunately Ryan backed everything up on his computer shortly before it made that wookie noise and got so hot I couldn't touch it the other day. Taking the battery out was the solution then, but that led to the current asshole computer that won't stay turned on situation.

So it was starting up and in order to stay in a calm enough mood that I could stay out in public I gave Ryan a call. Charlie was asleep and he was playing with Wes. He was right in the middle of telling me a cute story about him when I breathed in the wrong direction and the computer SHUT OFF AGAIN.

"SHIT!" I said, a little too loud but fortunately not loud enough to be heard by other coffeeshopgoers (this was the same place Charlie and Wes put on their one-act play with the potty and the peep show).

"WHAT?!" said Ryan, exasperated.

"#@$#@$#@ computer DID IT AGAIN!

I went home and sulked. Certainly the only solution to the busted computer was to sulk on the couch and watch Law and Order.

Which brings me to today, one day before my seminar. I have thirty-three slides done, Ryan's unfamiliar computer, and about seven minutes of working time during the day. I have to talk for forty minutes and I have to go there with an unfamiliar computer that is not loaded with pictures of mah baybees. Panic.

And the department chair wants to see me before the talk. Panic panic panic.

I'll be throwing up if you need me.


Sarah said...

zOMG-- thank goodness you backed everything up (duh, right). And I hear you about the computer. Ben and I actually have the EXACT SAME COMPUTER, but his is hard for me to like to use.

You are going to be fantastic!! Can't wait to hear all about it :)

Rima said...

Is it a Compaq Presario laptop? Because I had one of those and the EXACT SAME THING kept happening!!! It kept burning through batteries, so I could only use it with a power cord and it would shut off if you so much as looked at it funny. It also sounded like a Medevac helicopter and took about a half an hour to boot up. I think there might have even been a recall on it, but I was too lazy to investigate and bought a MAC instead.

P.S. Good luck with your presentation!!!

Shannon said...

I just got cold chills down my spine. I had the same experience with powerpoint and weird computer which had completely different powerpoint function keys on a job interview. It was not good.

You will be fine and you will be great on your presentation!

Hanah said...

Clearly you should include at least one picture of your kids in the presentation.

sarah said...

Gah!!! that is so so stressful!

Your presentation is going to be great!!!

A. said...

Good luck! I left academia behind 4 years ago, but still remember the butterflies and clammy hands of giving a seminar.

My laptop is ancient (a holdover from grad school that is 9 years old - yikes!), and I have so many pictures of my adorable kids on it that I'm now afraid to turn it on. Or upload anymore pictures (sigh). Because it may start throwing things at me and then die in a puff of smoke.

- Allison