The other day I was sitting in the coffeeshop, enjoying my Earl Grey Pot for ONE and a nice croissant while I worked on the presentation I will be making to the grad student seminar at Big Scary University on Wednesday. I worked through each of my slides, reviewing the material, making notes, sipping tea, eating croissant, checking the Huffington Post, reading blogs, double checking my references, fixing my figures, and checking Craigslist for things I don't need. It was delightfully relaxing.
Then I bumped the table with my knee and my computer TURNED THE HECK OFF ALL BY ITSELF.
I checked the connections in the power cord and jiggled the wire and pushed the power button, holding my breath. It started back up.
But it takes approximately forty-seven minutes to finish starting up because something is really wrong with it, but I haven't had the nerve to fix it since it started doing this in January-ish because of The Dissertation and the Not Wanting to Lose Everything.
Fortunately Ryan backed everything up on his computer shortly before it made that wookie noise and got so hot I couldn't touch it the other day. Taking the battery out was the solution then, but that led to the current asshole computer that won't stay turned on situation.
So it was starting up and in order to stay in a calm enough mood that I could stay out in public I gave Ryan a call. Charlie was asleep and he was playing with Wes. He was right in the middle of telling me a cute story about him when I breathed in the wrong direction and the computer SHUT OFF AGAIN.
"SHIT!" I said, a little too loud but fortunately not loud enough to be heard by other coffeeshopgoers (this was the same place Charlie and Wes put on their one-act play with the potty and the peep show).
"WHAT?!" said Ryan, exasperated.
"#@$#@$#@ computer DID IT AGAIN!
I went home and sulked. Certainly the only solution to the busted computer was to sulk on the couch and watch Law and Order.
Which brings me to today, one day before my seminar. I have thirty-three slides done, Ryan's unfamiliar computer, and about seven minutes of working time during the day. I have to talk for forty minutes and I have to go there with an unfamiliar computer that is not loaded with pictures of mah baybees. Panic.
And the department chair wants to see me before the talk. Panic panic panic.
I'll be throwing up if you need me.