As Ryan and I walked around MIT yesterday with the kids, we played a little game with ourselves where whenever we passed other people, one of us would say something to the other that would make the other people think we were faculty at MIT.
For example, we would spot a couple walking our way on the sidewalk. As they got closer, Ryan would say to me (often, a little too loudly) "How long do you think your faculty meeting will be? Should I get dinner for the kids?"
We played this game for many many blocks as I carried Wesley in my arms and an exhausted Charlie rode on Ryan's back in the Ergo.
me: "Did you get that memo from the Provost?"
Ryan: "I can't believe they only gave you TWO TA's this year!"
me: "Have you heard anything back on your career grant yet?"
Ryan: "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'll be late on Wednesday because GE wants a tour of my lab."
Then we started getting a little punchy.
Ryan: "My Summer II undergrads are the biggest bunch of entitled brats I've ever seen! NO late homework! It's on the syllabus! Why don't you go back to Westchester and work at the Gap!"
Me: "So I said 'What do you mean I can't breastfeed during meetings. I saw more of Dr. Andrews' breasts at the last holiday party than anyone would see if I was breastfeeding!'"
And then we were giggling too much to make it convincing, so that was the end of my brief career as an academic.*
*MIT if you are reading this, this never happened. I am way way WAY more serious than that! I have field experience! And I am willing to move to Boston.