I flipped the hall light on tonight so I could peek in on the boys one last time before I went to bed. I opened Charlie's door ever so quietly and smiled when I saw him asleep on the floor curled around Phent, his dog Joe by his head.
Then I stepped over the baby gate, intending to go put him back in bed, and I saw paper. Little bits of paper all over his floor. It looked like a thirty-five pound gerbil had used an entire stack of Sunday papers to make a nest in Charlie's room.
So much paper.
Also, irony. Today I stained an Ikea bookshelf for Charlie's room since he likes to read in the morning and I thought we could keep more of his books in there. I even told Ryan I was going to buy a little light to put on the bookshelf/nightstand because "I think he can handle having something a little delicate in there." We haven't had a Book Incident in at least a month--probably, I now realize, because we only leave board books in there at night. Because he has the impulse control of a, well, a two year old.
Panic-stricken I quickly accounted for all of the library books and then all the books that were gifts from Ryan's mother. Everything was safe.
I found a diaper on the floor and inspected it, no rips.
Wait a minute, where did the diaper come from? I carefully felt Charlie's pajama-clad bottom, relieved to feel that familiar papery crinkle beneath my fingertips.
It was only when I turned around to lift my sleeping boy back into the bed I lovingly made for him this morning that all became clear. Humidifier Carnage. Not two feet from where the little culprit lay sleeping on the floor.
The tank was upside down, the cap for the tank was off, it was unplugged(!!!), and the little tray that holds the water (not very well under the best of circumstances, I might add) was out. All of the pieces were artfully lined up like they were wet plastic building blocks. My deviant little civil engineer.
The filter had been reduced to confetti by my thirty-five pound gerbil.
And there was water everywhere.
Thankfully we didn't top it off tonight.
Also thankfully he was asleep and didn't hear me breathe "Oh Hell!" Then start giggling uncontrollably.
I picked up the diaper and all the shredded pieces of humidifier filter and soaked up the water with a towel then snuggled Charlie and Phent back into bed. Where they better stay. With no more rodent activity. For a good long time.