Monday, July 20, 2009

This is why Ryan usually handles customer service calls

Thank you for calling The Electric Company. Para Espanol, eprimer ocho.

To report an outage or interruption in service, or to set up a new account say 'service'...To make a payment or ask a question about your bill say 'accounts and billing'


Accounts and--not now Sweetie, I'm on the phone.

I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that.

To report an outage or interruption in service, or to set up a new account say 'service'... To make a payment or ask a question about your bill say 'accounts and billing'


Accounts and service...shoot...accounts and billing...HEY STOP HITTING HIM!

Let's try something else, why don't you say your account number, and then press the pound sign?

WHAT DO I SAY IF YOU ARE WRONGFULLY THREATENING TO TURN OFF MY ELECTRICITY EVEN AFTER YOU CASHED MY CHECK, YOU BITCHES?

Let's try something else, why don't you say your account number, and then press the pound sign?

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR RATES A LITTLE BIT? BECAUSE I'VE DELIVERED BABIES FOR LESS THAN YOU ARE CHARGING ME FOR JUNE. GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK.

Let's try something else, why don't you say your account number, and then press the pound sign?

nine seven three zero zero five six one three seven six nine zero nine four four three two one six seven three two one zero zero... pound

You said 'six...eleven...five...thirteen...ocho...cinco...taco...quesadilla...five...six...a...b...c...easy...as...one...two...three'. Is that correct?

no...NOT CORRECT...INCORRECT

Let's try something else, why don't you say your account number, and then press the pound sign?

MAMA I go potty in my shorts!

DAMMIT.

Let's try something else, why don't you say your account number, and then press the pound sign?

nine seven three zero zero five six one three seven six nine zero nine four four three two one six seven three two one zero zero... pound

Please hold while I transfer you to a representative,

...music...

Come here. Look at me. Mama is on the phone and I need you to be a big boy and play with Wesley. Do you understand?

...music...

Your estimated wait time is...thirty-eight to fifty five...minutes. Do you want to enter your phone number for a call back?

YES.

Enter your phone number, followed by the pound sign.

555-243-4432

You entered five...five...five...ROARRRRRRRR...seven. Is that correct?

NO.

I go potty in my undies I go potty in my undies I go potty in my undies waaaaaaahhh.

Enter your phone number, followed by the pound sign.

Just a second, Charlie.

I go potty in my undies I go potty in my undies I go potty in my undies waaaaaaahhh.

I didn't quite get that, enter your phone number, followed by the pound sign.

-click-

6 comments:

AJU5's Mom said...

I hate the voice activated stuff! Luckily, I have learned that pressing star or 0 tends to get you to a person. I wish they would have kept the "old" way where you pressed buttons!

Kyla said...

AAAAAAAAGH! Those things make me crazy!

Alison said...

You took the time to post, EXACTLY the "conversation" that I had with them bitches, but was too bitter to ever look back. Thank you for giving me a therapeutic laugh about it. VERY funny.

Mrs. CH said...

ROFL!!! Those voice activated lines are the absolute worst! I just end up pressing zero - that usually gets me through to a REAL person.

Sarah said...

Oh my god that's funny. I love how calm (duh, right) the robowoman is while I am invariably losing my shit. Once on the phone with our cable company, I started yelling "Help!" in the hopes of getting transferred straight to a person, and the kids freaked out.

sarah said...

OMG, this is hilarious!! You crack me up every single time.