Bride of Weed of Doom is roots up on its way to the landfill as we speak. Homestead Mama had a great suggestion--divide into smaller plants and replant them in the garden--but it was ridiculously huge and unmanageable. So while Ryan was at work and the new plants waited patiently in the trunk of my car, I used a pair of scissors to get as many of the "leaves" off as I could, figuring that what I lacked in brawn could be made up by sheer determination. I was almost ready to dig the roots up when I realized that it was 12:02 and I was supposed to be at the vet with Rossby at 12:00. I left so fast I ran over the huge pile of weeds I'd made in the driveway.
When I returned Ryan was home looking at the hastily abandoned gardening tools and gloves wondering if I had been taken up in the Rapture and, more perplexingly, why I got to go and he didn't, since he's the one who always washes out the gross sippy cups I find in the back of my car after three months in the Texas sun and I'm the one who he says "cuts" the whole line of people at church when I want to get cheese for my breakfast taco (There is no cheese line, I have explained many times. Once you get your taco, you can have as much cheese as you want. The line is for donuts, not cheese.).
The original plan was to surprise Ryan with a completed garden when he came home tonight, but I forgot he was coming home on his lunch break because some roofers were coming to inspect our house (Ironically we have some wind damage. I just stood there smiling like an idiot while the roofer explained it all to me despite six years of working with a center whose goal is to prevent wind damage to houses, including taking a handful of courses dedicated to windstorm damage and residential construction and participating in two field surveys of hurricane damage and writing a hundred and sixty pages about real and fake wind. That pretty much sums up my CV if you happen to be hiring, which God help me if a potential employer reads this website.). It was actually really good timing though, since I don't think I am physically capable of picking up the Bride of Weed of Doom. Ryan dug it out for me and put it in the giant trash can and now it's on its way to provide enough biodegradable material for the landfill to make up for two-kids-worth of disposable diapers.
Thanks to some surprise help from my dad I got everything planted and cleaned up before it was time to pick everyone up from school, although it meant I had to wash off my hands and legs in the bathroom sink instead of taking a real live shower. I still need to add some plants, but here is the "after" for now:
Obviously, I find comfort in order and symmetry. I'm going to round it out with a tall plant in the back and some more perennials, but the other plants should grow in and fill the space nicely.
In other news, here is Wesley hitting his baby bong*:
Sorry kids, we can't give you functional eustation tubes or bronchials, but man can we teach you differential equations.
*He's fine. He has bronchialitis from a bad cold. He is feeling much better now that we have started the breathing treatments.