Wednesday, February 11, 2009

An Open Letter to Our Pediatrician

Dear Pediatrician Man,

I don't know how to adequately convey my gratitude to you for suggesting we let our little Wesley learn to put himself to sleep at night by letting him cry (and stop feeding him fourteen times between midnight and six for goodness sake). I'd offer you our firstborn son, but as you know, I have become quite attached. Not that you wouldn't be a great father, because I'm sure you would be great. But Charlie would probably miss all the donuts and cookies and couch jumping that, as a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics, I'm sure you would be unable to provide.

And then I considered sending you a naughty picture of myself box of homemade cookies or offering to bring you coffee every morning for a month. Or maybe you need your car washed! Or your feet!

But I felt like all of those things might be a little inappropriate, considering you are married to what I assume to be, given that you are a doctor and you guys don't have any kids, a very attractive woman. And I also thought that maybe the vigilant way I approach the health of my children, including liberal use of your 24-hour phone nurse, might already be perceived as stalking.

And so I just wanted to let you know, that as I sink down into my bed at night, after a leisurely evening of reality TV, inappropriate eating, and blog reading working on my dissertation and perfecting my juvenile CPR technique, I say a little word of thanks for you and your infinite wisdom on everything from yeasty diaper rashes to sleep training.

Accept this picture of Wesley sleeping as a small token of thanks from our entire family. NOT A WORD about the thumb sucking.


Gratefully Yours,

the Academomia household


AJU5's Mom said...

Such a cute little guy (Wesley - not the pediatrician)!
I am glad he is sleeping better.

Sarah said...

OMG-- that was hilarious!

I heart the stuff about Charlie, but it all made me laugh a lot.

Jack is finally sleeping all night, too, and it is freaking awesome. He is even cuter after 12 hours of apart time!

Wesley is adorable-- love his hair!!

Leslie said...

yay! Such a cutie pie :)

Marianne said...

Love it! Am I the only person that has a non-sleeping child? I am 100% sure it's my fault, but MAN! My kid is a lousy sleeper!

Kyla said...

I remember in one of our first visits the pediatrician came in and saw BubTar playing with a Happy Meal toy and said, "You know fast food isn't very healthy." Then she said, "I'm just kidding. I think we probably have that whole set of Happy Meal toys floating around our car. What are ya gonna do?" Then I knew it was a match made in heaven. Heh.

Glad he's sleeping!

Alyssa said...

Aw --- what a cutie! So glad he's sleeping better :)