Sunday, January 18, 2009

Why the mini-defense Dr. Advisor has scheduled for next Monday is going to SUCK.

Subtitle: Why I break into hives at the very thought of the mini-defense scheduled for next Monday. The day after Wesley's Christening. After which I have promised myself I will NOT be hosting a entertaining-phobia inducing brunch for all of our family and friends. Even though not hosting a brunch for him makes me feel all guilty and poor neglected second child-y. And also I am really hoping I can keep the guilt from overcoming me and causing me to try and throw something together at the last minute.

Our last, oh, twenty MILLION evenings have gone something like this:

7:30. He's asleep! Yay! Let's do a puzzle! Let's drink wine! Let's watch Curb Your Enthusiasm or other non-child-friendly entertainment featuring flagrant use of the F word.

8:02. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Whimper. Grunt.

We freeze, afraid to move or speak audibly lest his Spidey-sense pick up that we are In Range, available to meet needs unspecified.

8:05. Silence. Phew.

10:00. I think I'll go to bed! Whee! I'm going to get to sleep!

10:30. Grunt. Grunt. SQUEAAAAAAK. Quiet cry. Quiet cry. LOUD CRY.

Shooooooot. Whisk baby out of crib, attach to boob. Falls asleep contentedly.

11:00. Finally relax enough to go back to sleep.

11:45. WAAAAAAA!

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Ryan attempts to calm him down unsuccessfuly due to lack of boob.

Feed baby and fall asleep with head stuck awkwardly through headboard slats. Summon energy to get him back into his crib upon waking up with menengitis-esque neck pain. Lay in bed unable to sleep for fear of being awakened again until 12:30.

3:00. Grunt. Grunt. Sigh.

OK! Good! Back to sleep.

3:15. Grunt. Grunt. Sigh.

What? Huh? Back to sleep.

3:20. WAAAAAAAA!

Eh shit.

Feed, fall asleep with cleverest infant in the country nestled cozily under my arm IN MY BED.

6:00. So cold. So very cold. I wonder if I could just sneeeeaaaak him into this Pack and Play so I can get a feeeeew more minutes of sl--WAAAAAAAAAA!

DAMMIT.

6:30. Alarm goes off and wakes finally asleep Wesley and refreshed and ready to play Charlie.

7:30. Ryan leaves for work. I leave for daycare.

8:15. Sit down with my enormous Dunkin Donuts coffee and attempt to keep my eyes open long enough to read technical papers (HA!) and respond intelligently to Dr. Advisor's questions (HA HA HA!) and plan my presentation for Monday (HA HA HA HOOOO HA HA HEEE HA!).

Mini-defense (Dr. Advisor wants me to run through everything one last time before my committee to make sure I am ready. I could answer that without hauling my breast pump through airport security: AM NOT READY! WILL NEVER BE READY! Whee!) is on the 20th in the old town and of course, I have totally overcommitted myself for this week (Christening, Inauguration Playdate) because THAT IS WHAT I DO! See you on the other side.

Forthcoming: Hastily written freakout re: jobs: want one? can't find one? will never have one? Sobbbbbbbb gobacktobed hide. So you have that to look forward to.

8 comments:

Mrs. Comet Hunter said...

Damn - and I thought I had enough to freak out about :S Good luck with the mini-defense! You WILL get through it!

Sarah said...

Seriously, a minidefense is so awesome! You are almost done, and that is amazing. My defense is going to totally eff with J's first birthday party (is already, actually, from a scheduling perspective), so I totally get you on the guilt. But getting a PhD while having 2 kids under 2 years apart? I think that is way cooler than all those other suckers (by which I mean the less than 2% of the entire US population) who get a PhD w/o kids.
Also, the sleep "schedule" you describe sounds a lot like J's. Sigh,

Steph said...

I'm trying to read between the lines here re: when you will be in town. Someone has to be ready with the Sonic drinks when you get out of the torture chamber.

Kyla said...

Sounds delightful! (thick with sarcasm, of course)

Hang in there, you'll do great!

My Buddy Mimi said...

My daughter will be almost 9 months before she is Baptized, but you are making me feel better about my procrastination...

Good luck!

apathy lounge said...

See, I'm thinking Dr. Advisor needs to spend 24 hours with your toddler and infant. Lose some sleep. Make liberal use of the "F-bomb". Try to find time to work and fail miserably. Then? Get back to you about how prepared HE feels for a mini-defense. Just saying.

AJU5's Mom said...

Minidefense today? Or February? Either way I hope it goes well and you have fun back in old town! Make sure you visit your favorite places while there (coffee, food, etc).

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that my comment/question is off topic but do you think you can shed some light on how you found your children's daycare and what to look for during such a search. Thanks!