Subtitle: Why I break into hives at the very thought of the mini-defense scheduled for next Monday. The day after Wesley's Christening. After which I have promised myself I will NOT be hosting a entertaining-phobia inducing brunch for all of our family and friends. Even though not hosting a brunch for him makes me feel all guilty and poor neglected second child-y. And also I am really hoping I can keep the guilt from overcoming me and causing me to try and throw something together at the last minute.
Our last, oh, twenty MILLION evenings have gone something like this:
7:30. He's asleep! Yay! Let's do a puzzle! Let's drink wine! Let's watch Curb Your Enthusiasm or other non-child-friendly entertainment featuring flagrant use of the F word.
8:02. Grunt. Grunt. Grunt. Whimper. Grunt.
We freeze, afraid to move or speak audibly lest his Spidey-sense pick up that we are In Range, available to meet needs unspecified.
8:05. Silence. Phew.
10:00. I think I'll go to bed! Whee! I'm going to get to sleep!
10:30. Grunt. Grunt. SQUEAAAAAAK. Quiet cry. Quiet cry. LOUD CRY.
Shooooooot. Whisk baby out of crib, attach to boob. Falls asleep contentedly.
11:00. Finally relax enough to go back to sleep.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?
Ryan attempts to calm him down unsuccessfuly due to lack of boob.
Feed baby and fall asleep with head stuck awkwardly through headboard slats. Summon energy to get him back into his crib upon waking up with menengitis-esque neck pain. Lay in bed unable to sleep for fear of being awakened again until 12:30.
3:00. Grunt. Grunt. Sigh.
OK! Good! Back to sleep.
3:15. Grunt. Grunt. Sigh.
What? Huh? Back to sleep.
Feed, fall asleep with cleverest infant in the country nestled cozily under my arm IN MY BED.
6:00. So cold. So very cold. I wonder if I could just sneeeeaaaak him into this Pack and Play so I can get a feeeeew more minutes of sl--WAAAAAAAAAA!
6:30. Alarm goes off and wakes finally asleep Wesley and refreshed and ready to play Charlie.
7:30. Ryan leaves for work. I leave for daycare.
8:15. Sit down with my enormous Dunkin Donuts coffee and attempt to keep my eyes open long enough to read technical papers (HA!) and respond intelligently to Dr. Advisor's questions (HA HA HA!) and plan my presentation for Monday (HA HA HA HOOOO HA HA HEEE HA!).
Mini-defense (Dr. Advisor wants me to run through everything one last time before my committee to make sure I am ready. I could answer that without hauling my breast pump through airport security: AM NOT READY! WILL NEVER BE READY! Whee!) is on the 20th in the old town and of course, I have totally overcommitted myself for this week (Christening, Inauguration Playdate) because THAT IS WHAT I DO! See you on the other side.
Forthcoming: Hastily written freakout re: jobs: want one? can't find one? will never have one? Sobbbbbbbb gobacktobed hide. So you have that to look forward to.