*We have this jar of Mexican vanilla. It is wonderful in recipes, but the lid to the jar is always stuck. While making snickerdoodles last night I tried everything to get the lid off to the point I swear I was going to hear the cracking of little bones in my hand. Finally, with Ryan strapping a screaming Wesley into his carseat so they could go to the store and Charlie whining and trying to climb up my leg so he could see what was going on on the counter, I had had it. I went to the garage, got a drill, and calmly drilled two holes in the lid. Ryan watched, impressed, as I poured my half teaspoon of vanilla and finished making the dough.
*Charlie had his first true public tantrum yesterday and I went all Supernanny on him. You know, react by not reacting. I took them to the mall to get an outfit for Wesley's Christening next week and forgot the stroller. Everything was going fine until Charlie realized that we were leaving and he wouldn't get to push the elevator button again. He melted into a puddle on the mall floor wailing "PUSH BUTTON!! PUSH BUTTON!! PUSH BUTTON!!" "Time to go get some lunch, Charlie, let's go to the car!" I said cheerfully as he flailed on the tile, then slowly walked towards the door of the department store. I stopped about twenty feet away (the mall was deserted, thanks economy) and stood calmly waiting for him. He calmed down after several minutes and wordlessly got up, walked over to me, and took my hand. Take that, Grasshopper!
*Heh heh heh. Hahahahaha. Heee heeeee. Ha. Ha ha ha:
*The drive-through lady at Dunkin Donuts made me so mad the other day I almost left without buying anything. Almost. I ordered a multigrain bagel with cream cheese, which is ON THE MENU. She said "We don't have multigrain, we have..." You know how you can't understand people on the little speaker. "OK, I said, how about sesame seed, then" I replied, based on a PICTURE OF A SESAME SEED BAGEL ON THE MENU. "That's not one of the ones I called out!!" she SNAPPED back at me. What the hell?
*This lady at daycare, who presumably has small children herself, saw me coming with Wesley in the carseat and Charlie by the hand and made a special point to close the door right before I got there. You know, so she could be sure I entered my access code and actually belonged there. Because if I was going to kidnap a child from a daycare bringing my OWN TWO CHILDREN and a diaper bag loaded with breastmilk would be a TOTALLY AWESOME DISGUISE. The best part was that she actually STOOD THERE WATCHING ME ENTER MY CODE AND THEN STRUGGLE TO OPEN THE DOOR. She did not offer to help. Tool.
*I grabbed a blanket out of the drier and tucked it around Wesley in his carseat this morning. On the way to the car I noticed that it had a pair of my undies stuck to it.
*I realized yesterday that my "moisturizer" was actually only sunscreen which explains why my face feels like it's ripping every time I smile. I added a real moisturizer to my morning "routine" today and it has been much better.
*The moms of twins club was at the mall yesterday and shamed me into dressing "nicely" today, you know, jeans, sneakers, and a sweater. If they can flat-iron their hair with two eighteen month olds I can certainly change out of my pajama top before leaving the house. Honestly.