Friday, January 2, 2009

Maybe I should just go to the Roomstore like everyone else.

I've had some notable successes with Craigslist in the last year--Charlie's Pottery Barn Kids' quilt with two shams, Charlie's bed, a crib mattress, bumper, quilt, and sheet set, two wooden night stands and a dresser, Ryan's lawnmower--but now that we are looking for a new couch I think I may have met my match. I like our current couch, which I bought at my own yardsale from a friend for $30 (Her husband agreed to the transaction because "You mean I won't have to haul this thing to Goodwill and I can go home and finish watching the Fiesta Bowl?"), but it is only a loveseat and we need something big enough to stretch out on while we are consoling Wesley at all hours of the night. So after a quick perusal of Ikea's offerings and finding nothing appealing in our $400 price range I turned to my old friend the Craigslist.

A quick search of the word "couch" with the "image" box checked turned up hundreds of ads. With the economy as it is, I was sure I could cash in on some overleveraged sucker help someone unload their gently used sofa for well within our budget.

I have only found one contender, but I have learned A LOT from the ads. To summarize:

AWESOME COUCH!!! $20. Need to sell by Friday. -- to raise beer money because I am a frat boy and this couch that I got when my parents redecorated their lake house smells of cigarettes and urine

Nice retro sofa. $75. -- "Uh, hi, this is Jim? You bought my couch? Yeah, could you look in the cushions real quick because I lost like a whole pound of hash and my roommate's gonna kill me." (this one was pictured, predictably, in a wood panelled room with an India print tapestry hanging behind it)

Beautiful black leather sofa. $575. -- "Yeah, hi, this is Leon Phelps--the Ladies' Man. I have definitely never had anonymous sex on this couch." wink wink

Super comfy sectional with built in recliners and cooler hidden in armrest, $250. -- My wife hates it and your's will too!

Brand new Pottery Barn leather sofa! Only $900! Ca$h only! -- You will be beaten and robbed if you show up with $900 in cash.

Free couch. Small stain on cushion. Cat friendly home. -- Eew eewwww ewwwwwww. Ewwww.

Blue and pink couch in good condition. $50. -- Helloooo 1989! Should we do each other's hair or play Nintendo?

Brand new living room set, $300. Comes with accessories [pictured: throw pillows, candlesticks, framed art]. Call before 5:00. -- Teach that bitch to cheat on me!

As much as I hate to admit it, I think it may be time to go retail.

9 comments:

Rima said...

Do you have a Sofa Express by you? We got our old couch from there for right around $400, I think, and it was brand new. Also, maybe Costco?

Kyla said...

That is hilarious and right on the money!

Homestead Mom said...

You crack me up. I always buy new or from a known source when any of the following apply:

-people I don't know have rested their butts on it daily for years

-strangers have spent any time sleeping [read: drooling] on it

-anyone could have had sex on it other than me

-I will EVER be laying my face on it and it won't fit in my washing machine.

Sarah said...

LOL @ teach that bitch to cheat on me!

mbc said...

I'm rolling! Try the couch place in Furniture Row (Burnet and 183).

AJU5's Mom said...

Couches are so hard to buy! We went to lots of stores before we found the pieces that were acceptable (and still not perfect by any stretch of the imagination). Costco sometimes have good ones though if you are only looking for one piece (and are normally a very good price for the quality).

apathy lounge said...

You've pretty much covered the gamut for sure! The only thing that makes me hesitate about buying a sofa second hand is...you know...substance spillage. Other people's...um...effluvia. Can't get past it.

Kirsten said...

Haha...couches are where I draw the "used" line. To me their like mattresses...you NEVER want to know what's been on them! :)

sarah said...

You are in so much trouble if I woke my kid up laughing at this. Seriously--hysterical!

I am a sucker for a Ladies Man reference. You definitely want to avoid all couches which may have come in contact with a bus-station skank.