Tuesday, December 9, 2008

How to get yourself taken out for donuts, a guest post by Charlie

1. Lay groundwork the night before by secretly slipping your younger brother espresso or other stimulant immediately before "bedtime"

2. Drink the last of the milk so Mama can't have coffee at home (This is the most important step)

3. Coordinate fits of hysterical crying for no reason with brother for 7:45, 8:13, 8:39, and 9:17

4. "Help" unload the dishwasher

5. "Help" sort the miscellaneous kitchen tools in the drawer

6. Compose, rehearse, and perform Tupperware and Wooden Spoon symphony in the middle of the kitchen floor

7. Feign autism when asked to help clean up

8. Plug in the Christmas tree

9. Lose Phent approximately eleven thousand times

10. Help younger brother "get cozy" by covering him with warm blankets. Multiple warm, adult-size blankets.

11. Help younger brother prepare for the rigors of space travel by enthusiastically pushing the swing

12. Become entrapped in younger brother's bouncey seat, scream as though missing a limb

13. Stick hand down pants, look innocent, report findings--"Poop?"

14. Suddenly begin behaving adorabley, play quietly and independently for several minutes, then find Mama and ask "Hug please?"

15. Stand by door to garage repeating "Special treat please? Special treat please?"

Ready to Go
Partners in crime.

11 comments:

AJU5's Mom said...

Good job Charlie! If it wasn't for getting you and your brother ready, in and out of the car, and herself ready, Mommy might take you out more for that kind of behavior!

My Buddy Mimi said...

Wesley looks like he is feeling a little better though.

Sarah said...

#7 made me laugh so hard I could barely read the rest!!!

Pete the Brit said...

THAT. IS. AWESOME.

Kyla said...

Hahahaha! I loved 11.

Rima said...

That's all I have to do to get myself a special treat?

Leslie said...

yup, works every time.

We're coming to South right after Christmas, will you be around?

apathy lounge said...

And they're just getting started. Remind me to tell you about the time my older two were toddlers and availed themselves of a can of Crisco they found in the pantry. My carpet was never the same again.

Hanah said...

Oh my goodness! Look at those adorable, mischievous boys!

Avonlea said...

Bwah-ha-hah! Good job, Charlie!

It's a good thing they're so cute sometimes!

sarah said...

omg, the "poop?" one is the best! LOL