I have composed a graph for you detailing my dissertation progress over the last week and a half.
There should only be ONE LINE on this graph
Anyone who would like to join me for and evening of drinks and computer smashing (BYO hammer and pent-up aggression) after this is all done with, please send me an email.
Excuse me for a moment (puts hand over phone)... FOR THE LAST TIME, THAT IS MAMA'S CERVIX! NOW GO INTO THE VERTEX POSITION UNTIL PAPA GETS HOME!...sorry about that, what was I saying?
(By the way I have totally become one of those people who carries on phone conversations peppered with Mom-speak. Last night I called my friend and said "Hi Heather! SIT ON YOUR BOTTOM How are you doing?" She was quite confused.)