Friday, June 27, 2008

This is me breathing into a paper bag

I've been working towards Monday's meeting with Dr. Advisor all morning thinking "Wow, this is great, I'm pretty much done with the analysis, I have 60 pages written, I think I might just finish this some day! December graduation here I come!" Sure I'm a little freaked out by the amount of information I have to convey in a 60-minute presentation since I haven't seen him in person since like February, but I figured it would all work out fine. Ryan and Charlie leave for his parents' tomorrow morning and I will have an entire day and a half or so to work on it with no interruptions (except possibly an undenyable urge to decorate the nursery or repaint the dining room... no telling when those are going to strike these days). So yeah, things going good.

And then. Because I have ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE I decided to look up the calendar for fall graduation.

Deadline for final defense? OCTOBER FREAKING TWENTY-THIRD.

Bravo's due date? SEPTEMBER FREAKING THIRTIETH.

Odds of me drowning my committee in a spray of breastmilk sometime during my defense? EXTREMELY HIGH.

Probability of my committee just having to deal with me nursing Bravo during the Q&A (and given Dr. Advisor's reaction the one time I had to do that with Charlie during a meeting, this is NOT something I want to do in front of my committee: Dr. Advisor and a cowboy type who was so freaked out by my giant pregnant belly during my qualifying exam that I swear he had a pot of water boiling in the office kitchen, and my third committee member who might actually be OK with it considering he tried to make small talk with me standing there in his SPEEDO during the times I ran into him at the university pool)? REALLY FREAKING HIGH.

Make your bets now Re: "Will flashing a little nipple at your defense affect the outcome?"

And I haven't even let myself think about the interesting ways the sleep deprivation required for most people to get through their defense and the sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn could commingle. I mean, maybe they'd let me stay at Guantanamo for a few days to recuperate.

Also, how early can newborns go on planes? Am I going to have to spend seven hours in the car with a newborn, a toddler, and a rocking episiotomy?

Holy Hell.

13 comments:

My Buddy Mimi said...

Good luck with your meeting on Monday! Also, I don't know if this helps any, but Mimi flew at six weeks with no problems.

Dr. Maureen said...

Oh, dear God, Becca, can't you postpone? What if you just defend in, like, December or something and then technically graduate in May? There are usually work-arounds for stipends and pay scales and job-gettings for people who have defended but have to wait till the next graduation to get the actual diploma. It happens all the time. People understand! Really! Alternatively, you could finish everything before Bravo arrives, but I realize it might be easier to GO BACK IN TIME and finish everything before Charlie arrives, so that may not be an option.

Sarah said...

Screw it, man.

My whole department has seen my nipples.

Also, you are superwoman for scheduling a defense less than a month postpartum. I was barely tying my own shoes 5 weeks ago.

Anywho, you'll be so freaked out with oh motherhood that your defense will be a piece of cake.

That will truly be academomia!!

BTW, a legend in my field is rumored to have GONE INTO LABOR during her defense, AND SHE KEPT DOING THE Q & A.

SSU said...

They don't recommend infants fly before 6 weeks. Southwest requires you to have a doctor's note if they are a lap-baby.

Defending in May isn't bad - that is when I did my thesis one. The good thing about May is that everyone else is thinking about finals. So, they might be nicer...

Jenny said...

I was in the middle of the job interview process when I was 9 months pregnant. They wanted to schedule me for an on-campus interview October 4, and I was due October 10. Um, no... They scheduled me one month later, November 10, when the baby was 4 weeks old. AND he had just gotten over meningitis. Was I scared? Yes. But the doctor gave the OK. My husband took over all child-care duties except breastfeeding (we have a toddler, too) and brought me the baby at regular intervals. We managed.

I got the job.

You can do it.

Anonymous said...

You can totally do this, I know it :) Plus, if you get a really nasty question, choose that moment to breatfeed. Or lean over with your nicely engorged ta-tas. And like I said, it'll make a great blog entry :) --abby

Rima said...

Oh, my goodness. But something tells me you'll be able to swing it.

HollowSquirrel said...

The baby will travel fine! You'll be great, and then it will be DONE!!! I'm so impressed you're doing all this. You'll look back at this period of your life and think yourself crazy, but at least you'll be all done! Woot!

sarah said...

Oh my.

Your guantanamo comment made me fall out of my chair laughing. Too funny.

And you know what? Screw 'em. You've worked hard for this; they can endure a few seconds of nipple.

Andrea said...

First of all, Dr. Advisor has a toddler too. So he should be used to all kinds of uncomfortable body moments. Second, Dr. Speedo is down under now, so he will probably phone in. Third, Dr. Cowboy can't point any fingers because he wears a freaking belt with his NAME BRANDED INTO THE BACK so that even after four years I can't stop giggling when I see him from behind.
Do it man, we have to have a party in December!
Godmother

Kyla said...

Good luck! It's going to be a wild ride!

Babies can ride on planes at 2 weeks of age.

LL said...

Holy hell that's a lot of craziness coming your way. But I have no doubt you'll rise above it all (don't you hate it when people say that and it feels like they're discounting how hard it's going to be? I'm not, I promise).

And as far as flying - I've heard 2 weeks. And really, that's the very best time to fly because Bravo will sleep the whole time and be perfect and cuddly and tiny. I'm certain Bravo will be less trouble than Charlie!

apathy lounge said...

Yes, but you'll be Dr. Academomia. Wow...look at me NOT being bitter and envious!