Know what I'm doing right now? I'm sitting at my desk pretending the pounding noise I am hearing is three hot, shirtless contractors framing out the new bathroom spa addition Ryan decided to get me for Mothers' Day (in my fantasy, of course).
I'm picturing the pretty mosaic tile they would be using for the tub-surround, the super powerful shower head they would be installing, the wonderful slate floor they would laying piece by piece, leaving no detail unaddressed, no expense spared.
Because that is much more fun than picturing Charlie using one of his shoes to hack his way out of his crib, Shawshank Redemption style.
Cruel Mommy that I am, I put him down for his afternoon nap a smidge early so we could go to the pool this afternoon with our friends (because it is supposed to be ninety freaking degrees and if I took Charlie to the playground he would fry like a piece of bacon the second his chubby little legs got near one of the slides). But this is not a concept easily conveyed to a one-year old (who, despite repeatedly laying his head down on the floor while I was reading him books is now decidedly NOT TIRED).
UPDATE: Ummm, oops? Had not considered the possibility that he had pooped five minutes after I put him down? That would make me a little cranky too. I guess that's what four pieces of pizza and half a cup of macaroni salad will do to a tiny digestive system. Mwahahaha kids under two are free; obviously they've never seen Charlie eat. Mwahahahaha!
Pants all clean, time to swim, no nap, thank you.